Rare confession: Riots a burden I have to carry all my life, says Modi

‘‘Ek ghatna ghat gayee, mere karyakaal mein ghat gayee. Aur mujhe jeevan bhar usko dhona hoga, main jaanta hoon…mujhe dhona hai main jaanta hoon, main bhitar se ek insaan hoon, (It was an incident that occurred and it happened during my tenure. And I will have to carry this burden for the rest of my life, I know it…I have to carry it, I know it, I am also human inside.’’

When Gupta pointed out to him that ‘‘dhona’’ was a ‘‘loaded expression (no pun intended),’’ he said: ‘‘It’s for the pundits to analyse all that but it took place when I was in power. So, I can’t distance myself from it.’’

Claiming that he didn’t take action against any official for the riots because he didn’t want to use his position to ‘‘hang someone,’’ Modi evaded the question whether as a ruler he ever lost sleep thinking of the victims.

‘‘Yeh sawaal aisa hai ki agar jawab deta hoon to bhi uska ehsas hota ki dekho yaar kaisi badi badi baatein karta hai aur nahin deta hoon toCM’s burden for life …iska arth yeh hoga ki dekho yaar kaisa aadmi hai.. (This is such a question that if I answer it, then there will be a feeling that this man talks big and if I don’t reply, people will say what kind of a person he is).’’

Pressed to speak the ‘‘true answer,’’ Modi said: ‘‘This issue is a matter of my personal feelings and the right time has not come for him to put this down in words.’’

Asked about his derisive remarks against Sonia Gandhi and her son—in a campaign rally, he called Rahul a Jersey bachhra and said no one would hire him as a driver or his mother as a clerk—Modi said: ‘‘When I speak at a rally, it’s likely that a couple of no-balls are bowled.’’

When told that bowlers make a correction after a no-ball, he said: ‘‘Hum karenge.’’