Where would you find a man and two sisters talking about their triangular live-in relationship? On Jerry Springer — right? — the American TV confessional where short of punches, they throw everything at each other? Wrong. Raja, Radha Reddy and Kaushalya were on Star Talk. The highly respected Kathak dancers discussed what it is like living together. Pretty jolly, evidently. According to them, they never had it better. Love is in the air, there and everywhere and not a jealous flush between them. Hmmmm.Britney Spears on Oprah Winfrey (Star World): there was less about the singer in her than the virgin in there. Where? Oprah wasn’t sure. She explored the issue of Spears’ sexual innocence like a gynaecologist examining her. Spears sighed pleasurably, smiled guilelessly and admitted that:Being virginal was fineBut a complete waste of time.Yes, they spoke of her career but it was really about Spears’ personal rags and riches — the sweet, young lass inside the millionaire voice.For Spears, self-promotion by any means may be desirable. But do Raja, Radha and Kaushalya need to invade their own privacy and parade it in public? Of course, we love ’em for it: given the choice, how many of us would rather have them discuss Kathak?However, we know how torturous such triangles can be. All those who love, like and adore Kkusum know how she has suffered because of another woman. Or what it’s like when your husband marries your best friend (Kabhi Souten Kabhi Saheli), or marries a younger woman to provide him with a male heir (Sanjjhi). The closest to the Reddy story is in Justujoo where two sisters were involved with the same man — and deeply unhappy. It’s difficult to believe that Radha Reddy’s smile wasn’t simply fixed.Our serials may explore depressing situations but they look frightfully cheerful about it. In Kehta Hai Dil (Star Plus), the police station has polished wood walls, gleaming designer brickwork and an interior cleaner than a hospital. Speaking of hospitals, Sanjivani resembles an ice-cream parlour: it’s blue, and yellow and green (and no sign of the red cross): weren’t hospitals, once upon a time, white? Nowadays private hospitals are designer as Ritu Beri, but this is a cassata three-in-one.In Kehta Hai Dil, each wall in the children’s bedroom offers a different sight: one has yellow flowers, another red and pink grafitti — and a blue ceiling above (perchance the sky?)! In Love Marriage (Zee) each wall is a different shade of colour and every piece of furniture, too — mauve and green and blue and yellow and pink.Meanwhile, Kyon Hota Hai Pyarr’s college cafeteria is a coffee shop in a five-star hotel and Kahin Na Kahin Koi Hai has an ornate mahal with a swing right in the middle of nowhere and la Dixit a cross between Holi and Diwali.Suddenly, television is rainbow country. The sets of these shows are deliberately designed so that you cannot identify with them. At all. They belong firmly to the realm of fantasy. For good reasons: paramount is the ‘feel good’ element : if you saw a grotty government hospital you’d be spilling germicide all over the TV set. Also, colours like opposites, attract. The idea is to be bright, bold and catch the viewer’s eye. Furthermore, the ‘fun’ atmosphere, the sets and clothes help soften the blows rained down on hapless TV characters: you can bear to watch Parvati’s tears because she looks so beautiful shedding them (Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki).And let’s admit it: the ‘real’ India is too deadly dreary to be celebrated in popular culture — especially on the small screen when you have to interrupt it every five-ten minutes with a commercial break for glowing skin and shiny hair and gorgeous models, gleaming cars, refrigerators. The contrast would be too stark. Imagine Hum Log sponsored by Siyaram suitings, Hyundai motors and Nerolac paints. It’s the kind of mismatch Madhuri Dixit would never permit on her marriage show.
