Only 20 minutes

An exciting, entertaining, effervescent game for television? Nowhere close. For that there has to be a contest, there has to be the possibility of redemption. It is too often said that cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties, of which nothing can be said until the last ball. Untrue. At 20-4, in the fourth over, India had lost. Everything that followed was irrelevant to the outcome and no commentator could inject any enthusiasm into his description of the proceedings. Give us test cricket, any day.

Say Shava Shava (NDTV Imagine) said a merciful goodbye. Instead, watch Dhoom Macha De which sounds more promising with a line-up of singers who would be owner’s pride and any music director’s envy: Anaida, Baba Sehgal, Babul Supriyo, Jaspinder Narula, Kamaal Khan and Suneeta Rao compete against one another for the title of the country’s best performer. The little that we heard was melodious; the sets were equally pleasing to the eye. If we couldn’t admire either longer, it is because Malaika Khan bedazzled us. She was dressed, if that is what she calls it, in a gold hot pantsuit, looking like a cross dresser — something between the Tomb Raider, Cat Woman and Nadia. All she needed was a whip. Why was she skimpy on clothes? It’s not as if she doesn’t looks perfectly decent, even fetching, with all her clothes on. Next to overdressed contestants, she looked positively, er, naked — that may have been the idea.

Sharmila Tagore made her debut as a judge on the show. Her dimple is everything it always was but she needs to be more combative to provoke the affable Shankar Mahadevan and Prasoon Joshi. The reason American Idol continues its run of successes is that judges Jackson, Paul and Simon disagree, disagreeably.

What happens to Hollywood actresses once crows nest on their faces? They grow old and out of leading film roles; they turn to leading roles on TV. Thus, Damages, a twisted, dark and dangerous legal drama, sees Glenn Close play Meryl Streep’s Devil Wears Prada who hires Rose Bryne as the nubile novice. Close is the coldest hotshot lawyer you’ve ever seen in dark glasses or a courtroom and she’s up against a white-haired or ash blond SOB, Ted Danson (famous as the bartender in the comedy Cheers). It’s wise of AXN to show this at 11 pm (although there’s an 8 pm repeat) for these are perverted souls who might not gain entry into even Hell.

Star News wanted us to hear Guru ki Awaaz. Immediately, expected Abhishek and Ash (who gave a singularly laughable interview to Anupama Chandra, on NDTV by tinkling ha, ha, ha whenever asked an awkward question). Or was it a new talent show? Neither. Instead, it was a voice from outer space (why don’t these news channels launch a studio out there?), and what resembled a shooting star. We were repeatedly invited to listen to it but the accompanying music drowned out everything but a kind of car hum. Ho-hum.

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com