Of cricket hits, beauty miss(es)

The media smells a rat when it sees cheese. So, Aaj Tak gleefully pounced on Pandit like she was, quite literally, Lakshmi! Breathless reporters, gasping anchors fanned our faces with her marital status like it was her marriage certificate. And while it is true that women must play the beauty game by the rules, it was, nevertheless, unnecessarily sanctimonious of former beauty queens to repeatedly remind us of it. They might have utilised the opportunity to say how unfair a system is which assesses your worth on your being single. Next, they’ll insist on virgins only.

The media’s attitude to cricket was similar. It exulted in the Tendulkar controversy more than Sehwag’s triple century. Every cricketer available — Border, Ponting, Kapil Dev, etcetra, etcetra — were asked to vote for or against Dravid and Tendulkar. The incident assumed larger proportions every day: if Border says Dravid was right and Ponting says Tendulkar should have been allowed his double, it breathes fire into deadwood (NDTV 24X7).

Can’t leave cricket without Abdul Qadir’s match analysis: ‘‘(when) Inzaman was give out wrongly it was the turning point… this is the reason for (Pakistan’s) defeat’’. Loser.

Now, turn to the curious affair of the surrogate ads. Even as the debate on their propriety tilted towards their unsuitability for broadcast, TV news channels ran them each time they discussed the latest developments on the issue – that is, umpteen times, every day. Is this what you’d call surrogate telecasts?

The same thing happens to the likes of Narendra Modi. He delivers speeches which defy decency and the Election Commission’s code. Rightly, the media condemns him, saying he should be stopped from making such speeches — and then airs the offensive ‘‘cow’’ and ‘‘driver’’ speech so that we might all hear it!

Shekhar Suman has quickly cashed in on his controversial remarks about stars accepting money to join or campaign for political parties. He’s acquired his own daily political show — Poll Khol (Star News). He’s good, he has plenty of ‘‘bon mots’’ — BJP’s Vision Document is ‘‘more Atal’s Album less Vision’’; in the photographs ‘‘Advani is waiting for Vajpayee to get up’’; ‘‘now Ekta Kapoor (Jeetu’s daughter) can make a serial entitled Kyunki Papa Bhi Kabhi…’’ and so on. It’s entertaining stuff, often spot on. So what’s the problem? Jokes are not pearls: you can’t string them together for better effect. A 30-minute daily satire show should have more to it than one-liners.

Meanwhile, please welcome Raveena Tandon who makes up the trinity of Sahara’s Bollywood belles with Karisma and Sridevi. Dunno if Raveena is more foolhardy than courageous but she was certainly found wanting in her first week. So would you be if you had to reprise Meena Kumari’s role in Sahib Biwi Aur Ghulam. As Chhoti Bahu she is dressed for the part alright, looking, we imagine, rather as she did at her recent wedding. However, we have yet to see her act. Praise Sahara for sailing in unchartered waters.

Lastly, there’s just something about Ansh’s cheeks that women find irresistible (Kyunki…). First Tulsi slapped him, then Nandini and last week, Savita. Enough to bring any man to his knees. No wonder, last seen, he was grovelling at Tulsi’s feet.