Ma Stallone’s pooches pick Dubya

The psychic dogs have projected a winner in this year’s presidential race. Don’t laugh. In previous polls the clairvoyant canines, who are owned by Jacqueline Stallone (Sylvester’s mom), have been uncannily accurate. So who’s the one? Bush, by a margin of up to 15 percent, Stallone says.

In July 2000, they correctly predicted that George W. Bush would defeat Al Gore by ‘‘a couple hundred votes.’’ For their next act, in August 2003, the miniature pinschers said Arnold Schwarzenegger would take California’s recall race ‘‘‘by a major margin.’’ Using super canine mental powers, they ‘‘channel messages from the spirit world and telepathically send them to me,’’ Mama Stallone has said.

But wait, there’s more. In 2008, Schwarzenegger will take advantage of a future constitutional amendment that allows foreign-born citizens to run for president. His opponent will be John Edwards, says Stallone, a veteran astrologer who also practices the art of ‘‘rumpology,’’ similar to palmistry, but uses the imprint of a person’s derriere to foretell the future. —(LATWP)