Life Line — Love hurts

Many a time intimate joyous coitus is converted into a painful condition. Dyspareunia (painful coitus) has either physical or psychological causes. Ambivalent attitudes towards sex, ignorance and inexperience are some of the psychological causes that can make intercourse painful.

Lack of vaginal lubrication either due to anxiety or lack of foreplay (as it appears in Ritu’s case) is usually the cause in young couples. Dry state of the vagina leads to pain, further dryness, spasms and sometimes even to vaginismus. A little foresight and some time spent on foreplay, adequate arousal and use of artificial lubricants can ease the results.

Post-menopause dryness of the vagina (due to reduced ability of the vaginal glands to secrete) due to the deficiency of female sex hormones seem to be the cause in the second case. Use of artificial lubricants should take care of the problem. Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT) is another alternative, to be carried out under a gynaecologist’s supervision.

It is best for both of you to undergo a gynaecological examination to rule out other possible causes like vaginal infection, growths, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometris and other bladder diseases.

Other conditions like lower bowel diseases, fistulas and fissure, pelvic congestion, post- operative scars and congenital malformation can sometimes lead to dysparenia. Treatment of most cases is possible, so don’t lose heart.

No safety net

Q Can a woman become pregnant if she has sex three days before her ovulation day? How long can the sperm survive in a woman’s body?— Jayshree, Bhandup

The survival time for sperms inside a woman’s body depends upon multiple factors which show the day-to-day cyclical changes of the menstrual cycle.

The cervical mucus changes its consistency and becomes favourable or unfavourable for semen passage depending upon the phase of the menstrual cycle. As it is very thick, it blocks the opening of the cervic and does not let the sperms pass through on most days. The sperms are unable to secure an entry into the uterus, dies in less than six hours.

Near about the ovulation day, the cervical mucus changes its consistency, which encourages the entry of the sperm into the cervic and uterus.

The sperm enters the various folds of the cervic and leaves it gradually and in batches. The semen is also `held’ in the early part of the fallopian tube, from where it is again released gradually, permitting only a few sperms to pass at a time. Again, this measure extends the time over which healthy sperms are entering the area of fertilisation.

The sperms can live for more than 80 hours in the fallopian tube itself and can survive for around eight days inside a woman’s body provided the conditions are right. That means a woman can become pregnant if she has unprotected intercourse not only three days before her ovulation but even eight days before ovulation. Now you realise why the `safe period’ is not exactly safe.

Dream on

Q I am a 17-year-old girl and I suffer from lack of concentration. I want to earn name and money in my life, but half of my time is spent in thinking and imagining things. Please suggest ways to achieve my goal.— Leena, Colaba

As with every other `perfection’, it takes time and effort to get the very most out of one’s own individuality. And all efforts start with thinking and dreaming. It will be counter-productive to negate the beneficial effects of `controlled’ day-dreaming. `It may be those who do most, dream most’, said Stephen Leacock.

Thinking and dreaming allows us to venture into areas which are not readily accessible to us at the moment. Imagining ourselves in those rules (imagery), analysing the situation and coming to a conclusion, is like a game of `virtual reality’. That enables us to narrow down our interests, options and natural abilities. Natural abilities are like natural plants and need pruning by thought, study and introspection.

After the hardest part of being able to recognise our natural talents and abilities, the comparatively `easy’ part of putting our plans into action is to be readied. At this stage, it is better to be like a postage stamp — stick to one thing till you arrive. Use the power of `positive imagery’, that is, imagine yourself in your favourite role or situation and savour its rewards. It will allow you to gallop to the top.

Distractions are the major cause of lack of concentration — minimise them or avoid them totally. Divide your task into small pieces and keep ticking the segments when they are completed. Reward yourself for achieving your targets and feel good. Give it all you have. Roosevelt once said, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Follow it.