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This is an archive article published on August 19, 2003

Less is more

If you are losing your crowning glory, don’t worry, chances are that you might wallow in intellectual glory: Professor Scott’s sag...

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If you are losing your crowning glory, don’t worry, chances are that you might wallow in intellectual glory: Professor Scott’s sage advice to his balding student in Munro’s short story Barber’s nightmare has always lifted my drooping spirits whenever I wistfully caress my balding pate.

That’s precisely why I’m trying to elucidate on the age old concept (or should we call it a truism?) that less hair means more intelligence, ergo a bald pate may well signify the highest form of intellectual potential.

After all, was it it not Shakespeare who said, ‘‘What god’s scanted man in hair he has given them in wit.’’ So here’s calling balding young men everywhere to take heart from the Bard of Avon’s wise words.

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They will be amused to know that in the writings of ancient Roman and Greek historians, wizened folk like Catallus and Augmestes, there were references to bald pates, very deliberate references to bald pates, in fact. This was because the Romans and Greeks believed that the rays of wisdom should directly descend on the head and shouldn’t be impeded by an unnecessary growth of hair. This conclusion had, in fact, prompted the great British historian, Sir Arnold Toynbee, to state that “the ancient Greeks and Romans did not care for hair.”

That is not all. There was also the Greek belief that Goddess Minerva — who is the equivalent of Saraswati in the Hindu Pantheon — seldom bestowed the bounty of knowledge on a hairy head. That’s the reason why even women of intellect were bald headed in ancient Greece. The great poetess Sappho got rid of her crowning glory at the age of 16 and remained as bald as a coot till the time she committed suicide.

Then there is the story involving a famous model who was approached by the editor of Playboy in the early eighties for its famous centrespreads. She flatly refused to oblige. The editor, however, kept persisting with his request and she eventually agreed to pose for them — but in full attire. The only concession she made was to go nude on top. She sported a completely shaven head!

Those sensual photographs were splashed all over the world, in both fashion and style magazines. Which shows that it needs intelligence to bare. It also reveals that a bald pate is more than a sign of great intelligence. It is the ultimate fashion statement. So don’t crib over your thinning hairline. In these matters, remember, less is more — take my word for it.

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