In India, watching cricket has everything but fun

‘‘This is so different’’, the Indian said over a glass of Pimms. ‘‘In India it is a battle for survival. Here this is a great day out. No lathi charge, easy access to your seat, good food, good drinks and also no fear of losing your seat each time you think of going to the gents.’’

In Goa, the Aussie friend pointed to a heap of shoes and chappals near the stadium entrance. I tried to explain to him that there may have been a ‘cane charge’. Before I could explain what a cane charge was, though, he had darted off to avoid the oncoming stampede of people and policemen accompanied by loud abuses and the occasional sound of stick hitting flesh. He needed no further explanation.

It is difficult to decide who needs to be blamed — sports administrators or the local administration. At most grounds accreditation badges are distributed in such numbers that they lose all meaning and value.

It is a common sight to see hundreds of people strolling around with an air of importance and lack of purpose near the Club House and the players’ areas. The local administration demands passes in hundreds, not tens, and next to the players’ enclosure, please, so that we come on TV.

Other countries have no system for freeloaders. If you want the best seat you pay the best price, and no amount of money can get you even in handshaking distance of the players. It helps that most stadia are not even half the size of those in India. The pleasure you get at these venues suitably reiterates that size doesn’t always matter.

Guests or even media personnel can collect their tickets on the day of the match. The usher at the Lord’s entrance is a busy person on the day of the game. He handles hundreds of media and invitation tickets without any flaw or fuss. At Newlands on Friday mediamen could collect their media passes right till the start of the match without any difficulty.

This clearly is not the case at home. Till the last minute the hunt is on for the elusive officials. As a result nothing gets done and there is all round chaos.

Indeed, Newlands must rank among the best grounds in the world. It helps that Table Mountain looms large over midwicket to provide the most picturesque backdrop but nature’s architecture is backed up by man’s construction.

Canopied hospitality boxes run half the length of the entire ground over four levels. Open stands occupy the lower level all around the boundary. The boxes have their own private hospitality and to cater to the others there are a number of bars and food counters.

And the ushers wish everybody good afternoon as they go through the turnstiles? In contrast even Madhavrao Scindia could not enter Ferozshah Kotla during the 1996 World Cup, though he was president of the organising committee, till a police escort saw him through. And the then BCCI president, IS Bindra, had to hitch a ride in the official car of the Commissioner of Police, who happened to be his batchmate and friend friend.

This is the amount of influence you may need to enter a ground in India for an important match. Even then a comfortable day’s cricket cannot be guaranteed.