Howzzat? We heard the peacenick

‘‘But look at the way Vinay Katiyar has attacked Sonia Gandhi personally,’’ complained my friend, ‘‘Like in cricket, the Election Commission should impose fines or ban them for a few elections.’’

‘‘If both parties continue to praise each other, what are they fighting for?’’ I wondered.

‘‘For decency in politics,’’ was the retort,‘‘Why can’t the Congress appreciate India Shining and the BJP appreciate the fact that Congress has created the right kind of climate for reforms, for taking the country forward.’’

‘‘Wouldn’t voters be confused?’’ I ventured.

‘‘The Indian voters should take a lesson from the Pakistani crowds,’’ explained my friend, ‘‘Look at the way they applauded Sachin Tendulkar’s century…why can’t Indian voters vote for BJP in one election and the Congress in the next irrespective of issues?’’

‘‘That’s what anti-incumbency is about,’’ I argued. ‘‘Oppose ruling parties irrespective of performance.’’

‘‘That’s not quite good enough,’’ came the counter point, ‘‘there should not be any animosity during the elections. Look at the way India and Pakistani cricketers bond with each other. The two countries may have gone to war thrice but Yuvraj actually went for dinner at Shoaib Akhtar’s house. Why can’t Indian political parties learn?’’

‘‘Sonia tried,’’ I replied, ‘‘but anyone who has tea with her ends up joining the BJP!’’

‘‘But the politicians do need to take lessons from what’s happening in Pakistan,’’ the peacenik argued. Both the captains have always been saying that the better side wins, you have Shoaib Akhtar applauding Tendulkar’s century, and do you see any of that in politics?

‘‘How can you even compare?’’ I cried.

‘‘Take the pitch, it has been made to ensure that there is maximum entertainment for the viewers. Both sides are allowed to score runs,’’ he went on, ‘‘Vajpayee and Sonia, both of whom draw crowds, should be allowed to address only limited number of meetings.’’

‘‘Isn’t Advani’s rath yatra providing a level-playing field with Sonia’s road show?’’ I asked.

‘‘It’s not the same thing’’ argued my friend,‘‘besides, in cricket, bowlers are allowed only ten over each. If the think tank of Pramod Mahajan and Jaitley helped the BJP win the Assembly elections like specialist bowlers they should look after only two states each.’’

‘‘This is ridiculous,’’ I pleaded.

‘‘The Congress and the BJP’s Arun Jaitley and Kapil Sibal should, for a change, speak for the opposing parties,’’ continued my friend, ‘‘they seem to be saying the same thing all the time.’’

‘‘Your cricket friendship is all bunkum,’’ I warned, ‘‘look at the way Musharraf says Kashmir is central to dialogue and any forward movement…’’

‘‘Airing such statements only spoil the ‘feel good’ atmosphere,’’ was the retort. ‘‘And finally whichever party loses the leader of the Opposition should be by law given an award for decency in public life just like the man of the match award in the Indo-Pak series always goes to the losing side. This would truly ensure that Elections 2004 are fought in the ‘sporting’ spirit like the Indo-Pak series.’’