Confessing that he had always been bad in multiplication but good in subtraction, Gujarat CM Narendra Modi paying floral tributes on the 133rd birth anniversary of the Mahatma at Rajghat, declared himself to be a half-Gandhian. ‘‘It was not Godse but Gandhiji who like me didn’t believe in multiplication and advocated brahmacharya,’’ he said. Flush from his tryst with destiny in the US, PM Vajpayee proclaimed that those who multiply are the enemies of the nation and will be dealt with by DPM Advani. He also declared that India, under the leadership of Shot-Gun Sinha and Osho Vinod Khanna, would follow the swadeshi population control policy of brahmacharya. The PM recalled that the Mahatma was a fierce proponent of brahmacharya. Decrying the use of contraceptives, IUDs and other such unmentionables, the PM held these western methods responsible for the failure of the population policy. SS, minister of health and family welfare, pointed out that all the western devices had bad side effects while brahmacharya was the only 100 per cent successful and safe method. In a press release, the Sangh Parivar welcomed this announcement and said the disciplining of the senses has long been an integral part of our culture. The RSS sarsangchalak recalled that Gandhi was a devout Hindu who believed in brahmacharya. In a sentimental vein, with tears in his eyes, he declared that ‘‘if Gandhi had been alive today, he would have sat on a fast unto death for construction of the temple at the Lord’s birthplace in Ayodhya.’’ At a hastily-convened press conference, Maneka Gandhi, ex-minister for social justice and empowerment, concurring with the swadeshi population policy, revealed inside information that her late husband, Sanjay Gandhi, had ordered forced sterilisation during the emergency because he was manipulated by his evil mother. ‘‘Sanjayji believed in nature,’’ she disclosed. Carrying the swadeshi policy into newer areas, she decried the inhuman practice of sterilising stray dogs and hit out at the policy of sterilising male mosquitoes as part of the National Malaria Eradication Programme. ‘‘In tune with the new thrust, dogs and mosquitoes can be taught brahmacharya ,’’ she observed. Meanwhile, Mamata Banerjee agreed that pills, injections and hormones had ruined the health of the common people and welcomed the rollback to natural methods. She also pointed out that Jyoti Basu had followed the most unnatural methods in West Bengal and the Left Front government should be dismissed. Brinda Karat, of the left-wing All India Democratic Women’s Association, agreed and declared that contraceptives like Net-en and Depo-provera had been promoted by multinationals for mega profits. This broad consensus across the political spectrum was slightly marred by Defence Minister George Fernandes, who declared that China, not Pakistan, was the main threat. He was of the view that too much reduction in the population would encourage China’s designs to subjugate India, like it did Tibet.
