Diary of a Social Butterfly

‘‘As what? Imposter prime minister of a banana republic?’’ Janoo muttered.

Mulloo was telling me yesterday only that Shaukat used to be a City Banker (forgot to ask her of which City. Must be London only) and he’s worth millions of dollars of shocks and options. I think so Janoo’s just jealous. Just because he’s not worth millions of dollars and he doesn’t have so many suits.

But Mulloo tells me that Shaukat’s taken off his suits and wears shulloos only now. To fit in with the landless pheasants he’s going to be representing in Attock or Tharparker or some such hole he’s standing from. Sho shweet he is!! I wish he was standing from Defence only. His intikhabi nishan could have been a shopping bag with Al Fatah or Agha’s written on it. ‘‘Then he’d really have romped home,’’ I told Janoo. ‘‘All my coffee party valis would’’ve voted for him.’’

‘‘I fear he’s going to romp home anyway,’’ said Janoo dryly.

‘‘What’s to you?’’ I asked, ‘‘those pheasants need to be told who to vote for. Look what happens when they do it on their own. Politicians get into parliament! Now don’t waste my time arguing about things that don’t matter. We’re late for Guddo and Groovy Haider’s daughter’s wedding.’’

So nice it was, the wedding. Very tasteful and classy. Even Janoo enjoyed himself. He actually talked to a few people and even laughed two or three times. Wonders never seize, haina?

Suna hai Imran’s in London staying with Annabel Goldsmith. Wonder if she’s related to Goldsmith, Mummy’s jeweller on the Mall in Lahore?

Mulloo had joined Tehreek-e-Insaaf na, hoping to get hooked up to Jemima and her trendy set — bhai Mick Jogger vaghera. But ever since the divorce, she’s left Tehreek and is now going to Attock to canvas for Shaukat Aziz. She’d also gone to receive Shahbaz Sharif at the airport and when it looked like Asif Zardari might be released she’d also started sending khana to his sell. Sho shweet she is. Kitna care karti hai na?

The Friday Times