Bandit steals BJP thunder

It8217;s not often that the morning greets you with a cadaverous smile. The half-open mouth, the sunken eyes, the hole in the forehead. New...

It8217;s not often that the morning greets you with a cadaverous smile. The half-open mouth, the sunken eyes, the hole in the forehead. News cameras zoomed in so close, you could have touched the cold cheeks. Jaya TV8217;s camera drilled into the wound on Veerappan8217;s forehead like the bullet had the night before. Throughout the day, 8216;8216;India8217;s bandit with a Robin Hood image8217;8217; as BBC World called him, was on close-up display, his death celebrated like a festive occasion. On Surya TV, people inspected the bodies of Veerappan and his three accomplices as though they were recent excavations from a rare archaeological site well, they had been buried in the forests of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka a long time. Looking at the bandit king you though how harmless he appeared in death, how impolite of TV cameras to invade his privacy when he could, no longer, object.

Twenty-four hour news channels run with the big story until it collapses like a marathon runner at the finishing line. And then some. If Tuesday saw Veerappan from daybreak to midnight, the BJP8217;s new president, L K Advani, was on roll Monday, like one of his famous rath yatras. If Advani was less popular than Veerappan it was because Veerappan chose to be killed on the day Advani was appointed president and the cameras preferred his looks. No wonder Advani held his press conference on Wednesday, when Veerappan had been laid to rest8212;literally and by the TV channels.

For an unkind comment on the news channels, watch Sanjivani Star Plus. In this hospital drama, terrorists have held staff and patients hostage. One staff member climbs out of the window and the ubiquitous TV news correspondent urges the cameraman to focus on her escape8212;knowing full well that the kidnappers are watching the same channel. Moral of the story? The latest, sabse tez breaking news at any cost. Astitva8230;Zee doesn8217;t hold journalists in high esteem either. When the angelic Dr Simran requests a journo to expose the prison abuse of women inmates, he rocks on his glass of rum and asks her for money.

We have heard of faith healers but seen none like the one on the GOD channel. A nattily dressed gent resembling an investment banker summons up God who else? and a lady suffering from breast cancer: as she approaches him, the gentleman informs her she has been cured, puffs at her and she collapses. Next is a lady who cannot walk8212;he touches her legs with his hands and she is not only walking, she8217;s skipping along. Finally, there8217;s the boy with epilepsy: 8216;8216;Stretch out your hand,8217;8217; our man commands the audience. Then, he puffs into the boy8217;s face, knocking him down. 8216;8216;Out, out!8217;8217; the healer orders the epilepsy. Staring deeply into the boy8217;s eyes, he announces, 8216;8216;The epileptic spirit has left him8217;8217;, and the boy staggers back, presumably minus the said spirit. Is this a religious channel or a magic show?

Dunno about visiting GOD but certainly don8217;t want to be seen anywhere near Zoom. Its nightly show Dangerous simply affords Kamal Siddhu and her ineffectual male companion the opportunity to pronounce words such as 8216;8216;orgasm8217;8217; and feel real grown up. O, so adult, na. Last week, they advised you to practise phone or cyber sex, talk dirty, 8216;8216;speak it out loud8217;8217; as they do and you will achieve the desired sexual fulfillment. Another magic show?

8216;O8217;nestly, such programmes give the rest of television a bad name. It8217;s not that anyone objects to talk of sex8212;only when it8217;s this tasteless. Then it8217;s Dangerous because people like former Censor Board chief Anupam Kher suddenly develop scissor hands and want to go snip, snip.

Last time any Hindi TV serial debut brought an irrepressible smile to the lips was Jassi. A year later, it8217;s the turn of Kareena Kareena Zee. The fun lies in her pretending to be two people she8217;s not and the falsehoods she entangles herself in to prove she is both. The comic timing of all the characters worked like clockwork in the first week and it was really entertaining. Can it sustain the tempo and the jokes?