Bandit steals BJP thunder

For an unkind comment on the news channels, watch Sanjivani (Star Plus). In this hospital drama, terrorists have held staff and patients hostage. One staff member climbs out of the window and the ubiquitous TV news correspondent urges the cameraman to focus on her escape—knowing full well that the kidnappers are watching the same channel. Moral of the story? The latest, sabse tez breaking news at any cost. Astitva…(Zee) doesn’t hold journalists in high esteem either. When the angelic Dr Simran requests a journo to expose the prison abuse of women inmates, he rocks on his glass of rum and asks her for money.

We have heard of faith healers but seen none like the one on the GOD channel. A nattily dressed gent resembling an investment banker summons up God (who else?) and a lady suffering from breast cancer: as she approaches him, the gentleman informs her she has been cured, puffs at her and she collapses. Next is a lady who cannot walk—he touches her legs with his hands and she is not only walking, she’s skipping along. Finally, there’s the boy with epilepsy: ‘‘Stretch out your hand,’’ our man commands the audience. Then, he puffs into the boy’s face, knocking him down. ‘‘Out, out!’’ the healer orders the epilepsy. Staring deeply into the boy’s eyes, he announces, ‘‘The epileptic spirit has left him’’, and the boy staggers back, presumably minus the said spirit. Is this a religious channel or a magic show?

Dunno about visiting GOD but certainly don’t want to be seen anywhere near Zoom. Its nightly show Dangerous simply affords Kamal Siddhu and her ineffectual male companion the opportunity to pronounce words such as ‘‘orgasm’’ and feel real grown up. O, so adult, na. Last week, they advised you to practise phone or cyber sex, talk dirty, ‘‘speak it out loud’’ (as they do) and you will achieve the desired sexual fulfillment. Another magic show?

‘O’nestly, such programmes give the rest of television a bad name. It’s not that anyone objects to talk of sex—only when it’s this tasteless. Then it’s Dangerous because people like former Censor Board chief Anupam Kher suddenly develop scissor hands and want to go snip, snip.

Last time any Hindi TV serial debut brought an irrepressible smile to the lips was Jassi. A year later, it’s the turn of Kareena Kareena (Zee). The fun lies in her pretending to be two people she’s not and the falsehoods she entangles herself in to prove she is both. The comic timing of all the characters worked like clockwork in the first week and it was really entertaining. Can it sustain the tempo and the jokes?