After 115 yrs, a village celebrates the wedding of a girl it did not kill

It was an open secret, everyone knew, everyone tacitly said yes. Until 20 years ago, Indra Singh who isnow the sarpanch of the village, said no.

His daughter was born 15 days after the death of his son at a very young age. He says he and his wife could not bring themselves to kill her. So they decided to keep her. That daughter’s marriage is now the talk of the village and even of Jaisalmer town, 80 km away. Every household of every caste in the village was involved, everyone contributed to help pile up what they say was a "substantial dowry." Some things don’t change. But no one is complaining — the fact that Jaswant Kanwar lived is enough to celebrate. People poured in from the entire region for the wedding. Lokendra Singh Kalvi, a prominent Rajput leader in the state BJP, came from Bikaner. "The last time the village saw a Rajput girl’s marriage was in 1883," he said. There is no one alive who has ever witnessed a baraat come to the village. The purohit for Kanwar’s marriage was the first of his Brahmin family to conduct such a ceremony.

Emboldened by Indra Singh’s decision to keep hisdaughter, his uncle and his brother also have a daughter each. As of today, the 150 Rajput families in the village have five daughters. But female infanticide persists. Most admit to it even if they do not acknowledge any particular incident. Some still offer the bizarre, well-worn reason: The water of the village well is such that only sons are born here. If things have changed now, it’s because water now comes from the tubewell.

One reason offered by the villagers is dowry. Bhatis in this Basiya region, comprising 24 villages, are said to belong to the former ruling family of Jaisalmer. They feel compelled to seek marital alliances with families which match this status. So although they are poor now, the expectations from them haven’t changed. According to the villagers, a typical groom’s family expects at least one kilo of gold besides "necessary" items. Few can afford it.

This may lead to some parents killing their female children but then at times, it’s also greed. Many villagers who reportedlykilled their female babies continue to demand dowry for their sons, accumulating it over generations with no daughters to marry off. Feeding this mindset is Deora’s isolation. Tucked away in the sand dunes of the Thar, Deora got a proper road link only this year,;it still does not have electricity. The nearest hospital is 80 km away in Jaisalmer. Rajput women still remain in purdah and even when they step out of the house, maids hold saris to form makeshift curtains for them. Indra Singh was the first to send his daughter to school where she studied till Class VIII. She could not study further as the village has a middle school and few can afford to send their children — whether boys or girls — to other towns for schooling.