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Journalism of Courage
Veteran actors and sisters Ratna Pathak Shah and Supriya Pathak recently opened up on their parenting styles, which involve looking at their kids as “individual people” rather than “son” and “daughter”. The duo made an appearance on Twinkle Khanna’s show The Icons, during which they shared how it was for them to marry men who were already fathers.
For the unversed, Ratna Pathak Shah is married to Naseeruddin Shah, who was previously married to Parveen Murad with whom he has a daughter, Heeba Shah. Similarly, Pankaj Kapur was previously married to Neliima Azeem with whom he has a son, Shahid Kapoor.
“Husband, wife, mother, son, etcetera. These things become straight jackets. If you keep the relationship a bit flexible, it helps,” she said.
Ratna added, “With Heeba, it definitely did help. Both of us happened to be in a situation where we could keep it flexible. I give all credit to Heeba because she was the younger one, she was the one having to make all the tough adjustments to a new world. We just decided to try and take it as…let’s see how this develops, from both sides. And luckily, it developed well.”
Supriya also recounted meeting Shahid for the first time when he was barely six years old. “I met Shahid when he was barely 6 years old. So, for me, he was the cutest baby I’ve seen. He was such a lovely child,” recalled Supriya.
She added she never felt any hostility from him and they liked each other as people since the beginning. “He was very warm and he did not have any defiant reactions towards me, nor did I towards him. So, when we met, it was an instant liking for each other as people. I think this is what we carried on”.
Both sisters also shared that they try to approach their relationships with their own biological children using the same logic. “I do agree with Ratna didi that do not put names (to relationships). Even with my own children, I don’t do ‘this is my daughter, this is my son’. Really no, they’re my friends.”
“But now, my kids are older and I really don’t have to think of them as ‘my kids’. I can think of them as human beings. I don’t like some of the things they do as human beings and I really admire some other things that they do. Same as I would with you or him, or anyone. It’s a nice feeling,” Ratna added.
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