‘I find this gifts funda very stupid’: Anushka Sharma reveals why she feels uncomfortable receiving gifts

“In fact meri bohot ajeeb si philosophy hai. Agar koi ladka mujhe kuch gift deta hai main uncomfortable hoti thi, pehle main leti nahi thi, gift leke uska price pata karti thi, utni value ya usse badi value ka gift vaapis deti thi. I never want a guy to say, ‘Maine ispe kharcha kiya hai’. Woh mere mein bohot hai, that money thing (In fact, I have a very weird philosophy. If a guy gifted me something, I used to become really uncomfortable. Initially, I would not take the gift, then I would take it and find out its price, then I would gift back something of a similar or higher value. I never want a guy to say, ‘I spent on her’. I have that a lot, that money thing),” said the NH10 actor.

Clinical psychologist Dr Rimpa Sarkar told indianexpress.com that this mindset often stems from a deep-seated discomfort with receiving without giving back — a dynamic that can trigger feelings of indebtedness, vulnerability, or a perceived imbalance of power.

At its core, this reaction is typically driven by a fear of judgment and internalized expectations of self-sufficiency (Source: Instagram/@anushkasharma)

“For some individuals, especially those who strongly value independence or have experienced generosity that came with unspoken expectations, receiving a gift can feel unsettling or even threatening to their sense of self-worth,” she said.

According to her, underlying this response may be a fear of being perceived as a burden or a “gold-digger”, a low tolerance for vulnerability, or a belief that relationships must remain emotionally and materially balanced to be safe.

Many also carry internalised ideas that love or care must be earned, repaid, or matched, leading to a transactional approach to relationships — even when generosity is offered with genuine intent.

“The instinct to immediately match or exceed the gesture—such as gifting something of equal or higher value—often becomes a way to regain a sense of control, avoid feeling obligated, or ensure they are not perceived as “taking advantage” of someone’s kindness,” said Dr Sarkar.

At its core, this reaction is typically driven by a fear of judgment, internalised expectations of self-sufficiency, and the belief that love, care, or generosity must always be earned or reciprocated to feel deserving of it.

How can you navigate such feelings?

To overcome such feelings, Dr Sarkar suggested the following strategies:

* Develop a healthier relationship with receiving.
* Build comfort with being cared for without guilt.
* Recognise that generosity in close relationships is not transactional.
* Learn to accept kindness without linking it to self-worth or independence.
* Engage in therapy or self-reflection to uncover and shift limiting beliefs.
* Replace transactional thinking with more emotionally secure patterns of connection.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.