Actor Tillotama Shome, who has delivered a string of acclaimed performance in the last couple of years, spoke about being made to feel like an outsider by Bollywood elites. She said that this made her resentful, cynical and bitter towards the industry, but ultimately, this hurt her more than anyone else, as she stopped getting work for years. In a Film Companion roundtable interview featuring actors who've delivered the year's most memorable performances on streaming, Tillotama said that she had to change her mindset, which resulted in her doing more work in one year than she had ever done before. Asked if she finally feels that the industry is ready to give her a shot at different roles, Tillotama said, "The industry is not one person, it's a group of people. But I had felt outside that group for 20 years, because I did the kind of films that weren't released in India, or had very limited release. So, I had the great satisfaction of meeting many wonderful people, wonderful crew, wonderful directors, and being a part of wonderful stories. But I also had to contend with the loneliness of not knowing people in Mumbai." She continued, "In those rare occasions where there would be a public screening, and one would be invited, almost by mistake, I would feel so out of place, because no one would say hi. Our parents enforced in our upbringing that you say hello to everybody in the room, but it wasn't a very forthcoming room. The mistake I made was I saw this room, I judged the room, I left the room. When you become that judgy, that cynical - you may have all your reasons - it starts eating you up from the inside. And very quickly, in those two years, not only did I repulse work, no work came my way, and I was also on a high horse." Tillotama said that she felt she'd worked so hard and delivered performances that had been acclaimed, and found herself asking, "What do you guys need?" She said that she'd go for 'every audition', but grew increasingly 'bitter' and started feeling 'unattractive'. She said that her mother's positive attitude turned her mindset around, and put things in perspective, because she was unwell at the time. "I started attracting all this work. Six-seven projects in a year and a half. I had 20 years of waiting and whining," she said. After breaking out with a supporting role in the Golden Lion-winning Monsoon Wedding, Tillotama embarked on a career as a character actor, before experiencing a resurgence during the streaming age. In recent years, she has appeared in projects such as Delhi Crime, Lust Stories 2 and The Night Manager.
