Sanjay Leela Bhansali tears up recalling ‘violent, alcoholic’ father’s last words, says moneylenders were always at their door: ‘I was frightened…’

Reflecting on his childhood, Bhansali shared that he grew up witnessing only turmoil. “Ever since I was born, I saw him drink. We saw a lot of violence growing up. We only saw anguish and bitterness against life growing up. He was a violent man. He never whipped us, but that’s how we felt as kids. He was a broken man. I had seen him sitting with his drink at 4:30 in the morning and talking to his dog.”

His relationship with his father remained incomplete, marked by fear and emotional distance. Bhansali described his father as “dominating” and “overpowering”, admitting that he was often frightened by him, which made him retreat into his shell. “There were moneylenders who were always at the house. We would be looked down upon at social gatherings like weddings because my father would be drunk,” he said.

Bhansali never received his father’s approval. Their relationship remained fractured, and before passing away, his father made it clear where his affections lay. Recalling his father’s last words, Bhansali teared up, sharing, “I asked him one day before he died, ‘Dad, whom do you love more, me or Bela?’ He said, ‘Obviously, I love Bela a lot.'”

His father’s struggle with alcohol deeply influenced Bhansali’s work, particularly his cult classic Devdas. “Devdas started when my father died,” he admitted. “He died of cirrhosis. My mother and him didn’t get along, but in the dying moment, he came out of the state of coma and stretched out his hand to my mother. It was one moment of reaching out and holding, and he was gone. I realized my mother sacrificed 22 years of her life for this one moment.”

The ghosts of Bhansali’s past continue to haunt him, often finding their way into his films. “The past doesn’t die because the mind doesn’t let you forget things,” he admitted.