Pookie, Prem or problematic – Which kind of man makes your heart go dhak dhak?

So, ladies and gentlemen, on Valentine’s Day, as we pick romantic movies to watch or plan a special evening with the person who may be the butter to our bread, let’s look at some of our most memorable Pookie, Prem and problematic on-screen male characters.

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Shahid Kapoor in Jab We Met.

1. Pookie: Pookie men are usually green flag bearers. Good-looking, gentle and supportive men who have been raised to respect women and never cross the line. If analysed closely, there are sub-Pookie types in Hindi cinema and now OTT content. Some of them are cute but not competent, and it takes the right lady to come along or dump them before they decide to actively adult or prioritise what’s important. Whether it is Shahid Kapoor in Jab We Met, Ranbir Kapoor in Barfi, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani and Wake Up Sid, Ranveer Singh in Band Baaja Baaraat, or Hrithik Roshan in Lakshya, for one category of the Pookie guys, love is the catalyst for change, commitment and personal growth.

Then there is Pookie with a dash of brat. Shah Rukh Khan in DDLJ had no great career ambitions but he travelled across continents to win over his lady love and her family. Aamir Khan in Dil Chahata Hain was a good-hearted but frivolous guy who turned a new leaf after falling in love. Ayushmaan Khurrana in Bareilly Ki Barfi bullied poor Pritam Vidrohi (Rajkummar Rao) but was also a man in love. Special Pookie mentions have to go to Irrfan Khan and Nawazuddin Siddiqui in The Lunchbox, Saif Ali Khan in Kal Ho Naa Ho and Hum Tum, Vicky Kaushal in Masaan and Imraan Ansari from Paatal Lok. To borrow and adjust the iconic line from As Good As It Gets, love makes Pookies want to be better men, not anti-social elements.

Madhuri Dixit and Salman Khan in Hum Aapke Hain Koun.

2. Prem: The Prem type of men are the tricky kind. Think of them like scoops of vanilla ice cream, great on paper and usually easy to get along with, whether you are a brownie or gajar ka halwa. Perhaps the idea of Prem, (created by the gentle and genteel Rajshri Productions banner), was a reaction to the hyper-masculine, ‘mard ko dard nahin hota’ brand of male characters in Hindi cinema. Prem was sweet, obedient, sanskaari, mom’s pet and upheld traditional Indian values. He displays occasional spunk and a sense of humour, but deep down he is a conformist and desires a partner who will accept his passive regressive expectations. We saw versions of him in Maine Pyaar Kiya, Hum Aapke Hain Koun, Hum Saath Saath Hain, the ghastly Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, Vivaah, and Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. Salman played a version of Prem in Baghban as well, where he quite literally worshipped his adoptive parents. The Prem category of men are peaceful, well-mannered enforcers of patriarchy. Approach with caution.

Dia Mirza and R Madhavan in Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein.

3. Problematic: The great thing about problematic men is that they can rarely hide the fact that they are human red flags. For decades women and men have been attracted to the proverbial ‘bad boys’; men who are verbally, emotionally or physically abusive, or looking for rehabilitation under the guise of romance. Sadly, these men are shrewd enough to gaslight their partners into feeling responsible for their bad behaviour. Sometimes, like Shahid Kapoor in Kabir Singh or Ranbir Kapoor in Animal, they come with combinations of problems. Chauvinist, physically abusive and self-destructive, or daddy issues, toxic masculinity and emotionally unstable. As much we criticise Animal and Kabir Singh, we have had a shockingly long list of problematic characters whose need for behavioural counselling was glorified as love, or simply passed off as men will be men. Arjun Kapoor in Ishaqzzade, Ranbir Kapoor in Ae Dil Hain Mushkil, R.Madhavan in Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein, Dhanush in Raanjhana, Atrangi Re and from the looks of it Tere Ishk Mein as well, Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Salman Khan in Tere Naam and Vicky Kaushal in Raman Raghav 2.0, are just some of the many examples where men with unresolved mental health concerns or deep-rooted patriarchal conditioning, turn love into a torture device.

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One has to often meet several frogs and beasts before finding Prince Charming and then hope he remains that way ever after. This Valentine’s Day, I hope you find someone who both loves and respects you, calls you out on your toxic habits and is your closest friend in the world. Whether your type is Pookie, Prem or problematic, find someone who doesn’t dim your light, but helps you shine bright like the diamond you are. Happy Valentine’s Day!!