An open letter to Shah Rukh Khan, the man who taught us to love and get back on our feet after stumbling

Your career blossomed in tandem with the country going through liberalization. Dressed in leather jackets and checked shirts, or GAP T-shirts with a ‘COOL’ chain, you signalled a change in the way love stories were told in Bollywood, and male characters were written in Hindi cinema. As the nation’s possibilities and horizons broadened, so did our romantic aspirations. We longed for the freedom Simran was given to travel and live her best life before traditions and duty gained centerstage.

Shah Rukh Khan in a still from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

Instead of finding a guy next door, we began dreaming of meeting Raj, a handsome, charming young man who was just the right amount of brat. A man who made a woman feel that no one could ever love her more. A boyfriend who held his lover as if the rest of the world didn’t matter to him anymore. You didn’t try to tame your bae into a bahu. Instead, you encouraged Pooja to pursue her passion for dance and join your stage show and worked with Nisha without ever hitting on her. Your characters were urban, educated and most often wealthy, but never separated from their Indian roots. These were men who could study abroad and dress in sharp suits but never forget that home is where Kaveri Amma is.

The truth is Shah Rukh, what women really, really want, is not a perfect-looking man or even a rich man. We want a man who makes us feel as cherished and loved as you made your leading ladies feel. We want to spend our lives with a man who doesn’t mind looking foolish or doing silly things just to make us smile. We dream of a strong man who isn’t afraid to cry when he feels scared or hurt. In a country that deifies women who suffer and sacrifice, you didn’t mind getting beaten up or embarrassing yourself if that meant winning over the girl and her family. In short, you made vulnerable the new sexy and wearing your heart on your sleeve incredibly desirable.

When Pathaan was announced, everyone including me was sceptical at the thought of you doing an action film. Or growing your hair that long. After the failure of Zero, Fan and Raees, perhaps we were worried that your career couldn’t take another disastrous film. While it has all the elements of a mass masala movie, what I found interesting was that the director, writers and you personally as an actor, brought to Pathaan and this genre the same vulnerability and wry humour that has been a part of your on-screen characters and off-screen persona.

Whether it was admitting he needed painkillers, speaking about the metal plates and pins holding his broken bones together, or feeling unsure of himself in front of a beautiful woman, Pathaan was flawed, real and thereby even more admirable. Though this was your first film in four years, you didn’t mind sharing screen space with John Abraham who definitely has the more enviable physique.

SRK in Pathaan.

There have been many stories of superstars trimming their co-actor’s role. But by allowing John to be a glorious villain, you forced audiences to root for your character. What Pathaan lacked in brute force, he made up with courage, and the will to keep getting back on his feet. Isn’t that what most of us are doing anyway on a daily basis? Life stacks up the odds against us and we keep showing up to do what needs to be done.

The past couple of years saw you at your most vulnerable personally. Whether it was your films failing at the box office, people questioning whether your career was over, or your son being arrested on what proved to be false charges, you handled each setback with patience and dignity.

In an age where people are constantly seeking validation and are looking to create the perfect image, your confidence in yourself and your truth made us fall in love with you all over again. Men who beat up people and take ‘intakaam’ are great in cinema. In real life, a sensible man is one who holds his own when times get tough and shows unconditional support to his loved ones.

There is so much more I want to say but the amazing and frustrating part is that even after thirty years if I ask someone what it is that they REALLY love about you, they would probably find it hard to articulate their feelings. You belong to the crowd and yet to each individual in their own personal way. Some love your smile, your dimples, your enviable head of hair, that you married your first girlfriend or the fact that you played Muslim protagonists on screen when no one else did. No longer was the Muslim man just Rahim chacha or the bestie Abdul. He proudly said, My Name is Khan and this is my story.

Even after the reams of print that have been written, and all the words that have been spoken, we never run out of nice things to say about you. Now that can only happen with people you truly love right?

Kuch Kuch Hota Hain Shah Rukh… it’s great to have you back.