Arjun Mathur recalls losing his mother in car crash when he was 13: ‘Will never forget the song we were singing moments before that Maruti 1000 skid off…’

 

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The actor, along with his two siblings and parents were on a road trip when the tragic incident happened, leaving the survivors severely injured. The actor’s father was driving the car.  In 2019,  Arjun, addressing the Imagine – Parenting with Courage conference, opened up about dealing with the trauma and how it impacted his teenage years.  “I don’t know. At the time, you really don’t know what happened. You only know that something bad has happened and you are just coping. I don’t think until much later in life, when you are actually facing life, work, relationships… the way you behave, an insecurity or a self-doubt that you have and where does it come from and then it can be traced back to this one event. I don’t know how it changed me then (sic),” Arjun was quoted as saying in an article published in India Today.

 

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 Arjun also shared that he felt misunderstood and that his father, who was in the driving seat and was suddenly left with three children to take care of by himself, didn’t offer emotional support to his bereaved children. “He (his father) was very busy and suddenly he had three kids, all in their teenage. He didn’t know what to do except for working and providing, but I think he unfortunately could not provide us with the emotional support that we required. He knew how to manage his hotel and he would try to manage his family that way. But, it wasn’t working. And, I rebelled in every way I could,” said Arjun.

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The trauma of losing his mother left Arjun lost and confused. “I did not want to study. My interest was more towards arts and drama, but that was not being understood very well. Also at the same time, when I was around 14-15, I started smoking and drinking. Everything was met with a lot of consequences. So I grew up with a lot of fear of my father. The language in which you speak to your children becomes what they tell themselves. It might have come out of frustration or lack of control, but it definitely wasn’t helpful to that 14-year-old child to hear things, which kind of devalued him as a person or made him feel less intelligent or unworthy. I would try to instill as much self-worth and self-value as much as possible in that child (sic),” he confessed. 

Arjun, who was seen in Brij Mohan Amar Rahe, said he grew up without receiving compassion from his father which led him to pick up bad habits in his teenage years. “I felt compassion lacking towards me. Not to put any blame on anyone. It’s important to be understanding; especially towards children. I can trace back my every fault and insecurity, and doubts to those years. And I wish I was more confident than I am or I believed in myself more than I do. And these are the things that weren’t really up to me (sic),” he added.

The Lord Curzon Ki Haveli actor said he feels his mother is still around and he wants to make her proud. “My biggest drive is just making her proud. I feel her around me and near me and guiding me. And I think I still am who I am because of her, even though she has not been around (sic.),” he added