Arun Aashray: This Pune refuge for abandoned kids helps them find a place to call home

“The entire universe came forward to help us. It is like when you put a thought out into the universe, and if it is a good thought, then the universe actually bends forward to help you,” says Radhika.

To keep the memory of their son alive the couple started Arun Aashray, a home for abandoned children. (Special Arrangement)

The property and necessary material were donated by close friends, and the place was ready in ten months. Since 2011, Arun Aashray has rescued about 124 children. “I won’t say it has been an easy journey, but it has been a very enriching one. And I think it is the reason why we are alive today. Otherwise, as parents, we would have died that day only when my son had an accident,” Radhika shares. The couple has another daughter, a son and a grandson.

Undernourished tots, special kids

The children at Arun Aashray are the ones who were abandoned by their biological parents for various reasons, like poverty or because they were born out of wedlock, etc.

Speaking about abandoned kids, Radhika says, “It’s very sad because willingly, a mother is not going to give up her child. So obviously she is under some trauma, obviously she’s going through her own health, but I never understand the manner in which it is done”.

She highlights that people know about the existence of centres for adoption and hospitals. But despite that, people leave children on railway tracks, in the bathrooms of public bus stands or in dustbins. “That is something which I just can’t understand. If you’re giving up your child, do it at least in a decent and humane manner.”

She also mentions that a lot of times the child is not taken care of during the pregnancy period and as a result is undernourished. Sometimes the abandoned babies weigh around 800 grams or a kilogram and need a lot of medical care as their life begins.

Radhika highlights that in India, people do not wish to adopt special children and biological parents also give up such children at times. “Indian families don’t welcome such children. They go abroad. After being rejected by Indian families, they appear for foreign adoption on the website of the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA). Then they find homes. If a child has disfigurement of the body or deformity, nobody in India will adopt,” Radhika adds.

Many a time, a long time is lost in tracing the biological parents of the abandoned children. The child gets stuck in that time period as they cannot be placed for adoption until the biological parents relinquish their rights to the child. It is a long procedure that involves tracing parents through newspapers, TV, and other media, getting police clearance, and finishing the paperwork.

“Unfortunately, it takes very long. So sometimes a child is with you for two, three years, and then the child appears for adoption. That’s another sad thing about adoption. It’s stuck here and there, and you’re just running from pillar to post trying to see your baby.”

But she says that at least the children are happy at Arun Aashray, as they have friends, a good support staff, books to read and picnics arranged for them.

Adoption and hurdles

The initial understanding of the children is that Arun Ashray is their home. But Radhika says that the children are spoken to about adoption in a positive manner and they prepare them for it. “I tell them all these things that your mama will come, your papa will come, and you’ll go in your own car, you’ll go in an airplane, you will have your own house.

Also it helps that the whole adoption procedure happens in front of the other children. “So they know, okay, Sneha’s mummy has come, or Arjun’s mama has come. Then they also look forward to going home, and they settle because families are good,” she explains.

To move forward with the adoption process, Radhika also counsels biological parents so it doesn’t become a barrier. “For example, a single mother who had abandoned her child and later got married and had her own family was reluctant to give up her child by law. “I say, it’s not fair. You’re not going to take your baby to your house. Why do you want to hold the baby just by law? Because you’re the biological mother. Doesn’t the child deserve a family of his own?”

She, however, adds that it is easy to convince a mother, because any mother only wants the best for her child.