Sticks and Stones

The problem of bullying in schools

The video that went viral of 12-year-olds ganging up and tormenting one of their own has had grim consequences, surprisingly fast. The pre-teen aggressors have been asked to leave the school since the graphic abuse and filthy language on the two-minute long clip simply could not be ignored— watching the helplessness of the victim leaves you with a strange and creepy feeling of being violated. Besides, other outraged parents were absolutely determined to see the last of those boys and since the school seems eager to finish this conversation, they gave in. If one must find a positive in this sordid incident, it’s that it’s brought the scourge of middle and high school bullying bang into the forefront.

Like 15 months ago, when the unreal brutality of a gangrape on a moving bus shook the entire country, the revolting language on this video has stunned every parent in Delhi leading to many drawing room arguments about parenting and what’s going wrong. Is this incident a reflection of modern values? Is our placating children occasionally with iPads for boredom somewhat responsible? Or maybe, we’re relying way too much on that very convenient babysitter, the television, and that’s causing our children to lash out in this awful manner. There are many simplistic ideas doing the rounds, the most popular of which seems to be that a generation of hard working and successful Indians are for some unfathomable reason, raising a generation of overindulged and demanding monsters.

Bullying is hardly new. In boarding schools in India it’s almost considered a rite of passage though rules to deal with it are enforced much more now. All kids at some point go through experiences of teasing and taunting, maybe even a few fights. All of it needn’t be seen as devastatingly scarring. Since all through life you’re bound to encounter all types of people, some who will harrass you in a physical or emotional way it’s not a bad thing to learn how to fight back and hold your own. Research throws up the differences in bullying tactics between boys and girls. While both genders are motivated by feelings of power and a need for attention, boys’ bullying is more name calling, while girls freeze out, or stop including a peer in their activities. Girls judge on appearance while boys judge on physical strength. Both styles of tormenting can be frightening, but you almost never hear of a girl being pulled up or expelled for bullying.

Personally, I’m all for nuanced punishments for children, even bullying, but after seeing that video I can’t say I’d be ecstatic if that was my child’s peer group. Still, we’re all entitled to a couple of mistakes, especially children. Like the logic applied for first time thieves: put them in a jail and they emerge hardened criminals but a more affirmative approach might help reform them. The same holds true for kids who may be acting out of a personal issue. The tragedy of this video is that this incident will never fully go away and will pop up throughout the lives of the aggressor and victim. The lesson in consequences that came horribly early for these kids. And it seems a little unfair to define anybody just by two terrible minutes.

Leher Kala

hutkayfilms@gmail.com

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