When it’s breaking news, you have to be heard above the herd

Actually, you couldn’t help knowing things were bad. As the Sensex sank, the anchors’ voices on TV business channels rose in direct proportion to the decline in the share market. On Friday, they were opera singers, hitting the high notes. Just like doctors listen to your chest to learn the state of your health, so the decibel levels of the anchors told you the overall condition of the Sensex. Also, remember the following rule about TV business news reporting: the more excited the reporter, the worse the market’s condition. Thus, when the Zee Business anchor announced on Friday, ‘‘Sabhi share neeche hain’’ like India had just beaten the West Indies, you knew the share index was on a downswing.

The English news channels were equally gung-ho in announcing: ‘‘…this market is slipping very quickly. The damage is increasing..’’ (CNBC). If NDTV Profit’s tone was a little more circumspect — ‘‘Caution right now is the key word’’ — it must have been because they wanted their voices heard above the din of the lathi charge at Lal Chowk in Patna. More about that presently.

Why the Fall? What did it mean and why was it happening? Well, only those who know what they are talking about and those who talk the same language understood what they were talking about.

For once ‘‘Breaking News’’ was really that, on Friday, as the lathis rained down on the students in Patna — some broke, others sounded like they were breaking something. All news channels abandoned the share bazaar, mid-morning, for a wild chase after pro-quota agitators and the police who chased them. Anchors sounded pleased that for once the scenes were so evocative they justified their running commentary — and we mean running at 100 mph!

We have become so accustomed to the loud reports (sorry for the puns) that we almost missed the exclusive, silent film of the plane crashing into the Pentagon on that fateful 9/11 day. CNN’s Jim Clancy barely managed to find words to describe the sequence; perhaps, as an experienced broadcaster, he knew the visuals were self-explanatory.

People just love to complain that there is nothing to watch on TV. Not true. All the agitated patients who received little medical attention last week must watch Scrubs and wish they had gone on strike instead of our medicos because you have never seen a more incompetent bunch of doctors — or more engaging. Then watch Gray’s Anatomy to restore your faith (a little) in the Hippocratic oath-takers. Also on Star World, the winsome American Idol and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, the reality show where roly-poly Stephen does everything from spilling the morning bed breakfast on Randy to answering nature’s call during a yoga pose so that she breaks their engagement and loses the one million dollars she would win were she to put up with him and convince everyone she is really, really desperate to marry him.

And, then we always have cricket (Ten Sports). Mercifully, we have a few new commentators and experts in Richie Richardson on the analysis show Straight Drive and Jeremy Coney in the box. Coney came in for high praise from Sanjay Manjrekar for his command of the English language (he teaches it) and for coming with ‘‘islands of blue sky’’ in his weather report!

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com