What146;s the good word?

English is a peculiar language. Grammar is important but the real art is in knowing the context and nuances of the words used. An extreme ex...

English is a peculiar language. Grammar is important but the real art is in knowing the context and nuances of the words used. An extreme example is 8220;I am not here8221; 8212; which is grammatically correct but can never be truthfully spoken. However, we were taught in our social etiquette lectures at the National Defence Academy that if you called on a senior officer at his house and were told that the sahib was 8220;not in8221;, it did not mean that he was physically away but that he was not in the mood to see you.

As a young lieutenant, I was attending a cocktail party at which our captain was the guest of honour. We were all having a good time when the captain decided to leave. With the best of intentions, I requested him to have a last drink. The captain was furious and screamed that he had no intention of making the drink his 8220;last8221; and he had no doubt he would live long enough to imbibe thousands more. That was the last time I uttered the word 8220;last8221; in any such context.

At another time, I was in the company of a senior officer who had had his training in the UK and was a pucca sahib complete with an Oxford accent. We were contemplating a game of golf but the sky was overcast. I casually remarked that I did not think it would rain. Whereby I was politely but firmly told that the very fact that I had made that statement reflected that I had actually applied my mind to the matter and what I should really have said was that I 8220;thought8221; it would 8220;not8221; rain!

A ship was once exercising 8220;action stations8221; during which all personnel are required to man their battle positions. The gunnery officer wanted to check communications from the 8220;bridge8221; and said on the intercom, 8220;All positions, this is bridge, how do you hear me, over?8221; On not getting any response, the query was repeated a number of times. Finally, a junior sailor picked up the nearest mike and said, 8220;Bridge, this is all positions, hearing you loud and clear8221;. Whereupon the no-nonsense GO thundered, 8220;Incorrect, you should have said 8220;these are all positions!8217;8221;

At least in my days, the defence services believed more in following the Jeeves code of conduct of the stiff upper lip rather than the flippant ways of Bertie Wooster and Gussie Fink-Nottle. The emphasis was on using correct terminology and precise language. In the navy, you could not 8220;keep a beard8221; but 8220;discontinue shaving8221;. Then there were some set phrases which had to be used in formal writing. A letter to the commanding officer had to begin with 8220;I have the honour8221; even if you were confessing a dishonourable misdeed. Far simpler to follow the babu who, replying to the preceding note on a file, wrote, 8220;for your above, see my below.8221;