What’s the good word?

At another time, I was in the company of a senior officer who had had his training in the UK and was a pucca sahib complete with an Oxford accent. We were contemplating a game of golf but the sky was overcast. I casually remarked that I did not think it would rain. Whereby I was politely but firmly told that the very fact that I had made that statement reflected that I had actually applied my mind to the matter and what I should really have said was that I “thought” it would “not” rain!

A ship was once exercising “action stations” during which all personnel are required to man their battle positions. The gunnery officer wanted to check communications from the “bridge” and said on the intercom, “All positions, this is bridge, how do you hear me, over?” On not getting any response, the query was repeated a number of times. Finally, a junior sailor picked up the nearest mike and said, “Bridge, this is all positions, hearing you loud and clear”. Whereupon the no-nonsense GO thundered, “Incorrect, you should have said “these are all positions!’”

At least in my days, the defence services believed more in following the Jeeves code of conduct of the stiff upper lip rather than the flippant ways of Bertie Wooster and Gussie Fink-Nottle. The emphasis was on using correct terminology and precise language. In the navy, you could not “keep a beard” but “discontinue shaving”. Then there were some set phrases which had to be used in formal writing. A letter to the commanding officer had to begin with “I have the honour” even if you were confessing a dishonourable misdeed. Far simpler to follow the babu who, replying to the preceding note on a file, wrote, “for your above, see my below.”