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Journalism of Courage
MADHURI Dixit8217;s TV show Kahin Na Kahin Koi Hai may be a flop, but young Indians aren8217;t exactly despairing. After all, what8217;s the Net there for? Forget the lurid reports about cyber-sex and chatroom traps, the Net has already emerged as a viable meeting ground for couples miles away from each other. 8216;8216;And the pros far outweigh the cons,8217;8217; says Nupur Sharma, 26 and a psychologist, who found her spouse Captain Abhishek Sharma, 29, over the Net.
8216;8216;We met in a chatroom,8217;8217; says Nupur, 8216;8216;and no, I wasn8217;t looking for a partner, not at all. For me, the very concept was questionable 8212; how could something like this work, I wondered. Anyway, initially, Abhi was one of the many people I was chatting with. At that time, I was living in New Delhi, while he was posted in the border area.8217;8217;
But there was no question of faking an identity. 8216;8216;Of course, I was myself,8217;8217; says Abhishek. 8216;8216;The anonymity of the Net actually allows people to shed their inhibitions and social limitations 8212; this uninhibited self is as real as the more socially decorous person we show the world.8217;8217;
For six months, from January to June 2000, Nupur and Abhishek chatted on the Net. Then, both felt they had established the grounds for a real-life meeting. 8216;8216;She agreed to meet me after months of cajoling,8217;8217; laughs Abhishek. 8216;8216;And when we did meet 8212; he was in Delhi on leave 8212; there were these long, awkward silences. We, who used to spend hours chatting with each other on the Net, suddenly had nothing to say to each other,8217;8217; recalls Nupur. 8216;8216;We hadn8217;t exchanged photos, so the image we had built up of each other suddenly came face to face with a flesh-and-blood person. With the encounter of the physical came apprehensions, doubts, fears, insecurities. I remember thinking, 8216;Does he like me, will he want to meet me again?8217;8217;8217;
This is obviously news to Abhishek. Looking amazed at the revelation from his wife of two years, he shakes his head, 8216;8216;For me, it was just a continuation of our relationship on the Net. It only added a face to the name.8217;8217;
Many meetings later, the two realised they would have to break the news about each other to their respective parents. 8216;8216;Although I spent hours pondering how they would take to it, I never gave them much choice,8217;8217; admits Nupur. 8216;8216;I just told them when everything was set. That was that.8217;8217;
Abhishek, on the other hand, ran into rough weather. Says his father, Dr K K R Sharma, 59, 8216;8216;I was rather surprised to learn of Abhishek8217;s decision. Partly because, I supposed, we had never expected him to marry someone of his own choice. Moreover, the Net is rather an unconventional meeting ground.8217;8217; Adds Abhishek8217;s mother, Dr Pratibha Sharma, 55, 8216;8216;On my part, the fact that they had met over the Net was no factor at all. I was fairly confident that my son would not make the wrong choice.8217;8217;
After meeting Nupur, they realised that their faith had not been misplaced; Nupur and Abhishek married with the blessings of both families on May 24 this year. Neither have given up their Netsurfing habits, but neither believe they stand any danger of losing the other to a virtual relationship. 8216;8216;If I didn8217;t trust him, I wouldn8217;t have married him,8217;8217; says Nupur. Abhishek concludes, 8216;8216;One8217;s commitment to a relationship has nothing to do with being net-savvy. I8217;m sure they8217;re were people who cheated on their partners in the Stone Age, and there are couples who are faithful today.8217;8217;
