JANUARY 8: The three of them had two things in common - poor marksheets and nagging parents. When Nitin Gomde, Ganesh More and Ajaykumar Pasi, all residents of Thane, returned home from their schools on Wednesday, they had made up their mind - enough is enough.Exactly after half an hour and a rushed lunch, the three met again to board a bus that they thought would take them away from their troubles. Nitin's mother, got worried when he did not return till late in the evening. ``When she went down to search for him, he was not there,'' said Nagesh Gomde, the father with tears welling in his eyes. They immediately lodged a police complaint. At the police station they learnt that two more boys from Thane had gone missing. Enquiries revealed that three knew each other - while Ganesh and Nitin were classmates at the Raje Shivaji School, Ajaykumar had met them at a tuition class. Ajay is a student of the Gnyanoday Vidyamandir.The Thane police alerted all leading hospitals, children's homes and police controls giving detailed descriptions of the children. However, their efforts to trace the boys failed even as anxiety mounted with every passing hour. The three families kept calling each other and the Vartak Nagar police station all night long. When this reporter met the families today afternoon, introspection was already underway. Shanta More was blaming herself. ``We were putting too much pressure on him to perform well,'' she said touching her ears and muttering prayers for Ganesh's safety. He is her only child. Shivsagar Pasi, Ajay's father, too was quite shaken. ``Where did we go wrong.we did everything possible within our means for him,'' he said wiping his eyes. ``People will think we have been ill treating our son,'' he added. Till 4 pm many calls made to Vartak Nagar police station drew identical response - no news. And then the phone rang in the Gomde household. It was Nitin's uncle Rajesh Shinde on the line from Ousa in Latur district with the news that the children were with him safe and a little embarrassed over their act. ``I got suspicious when the three children arrived here without bag and baggage,'' he told this reporter over the phone from Ousa. ``I immediately decided to call up Thane to find out the truth.''The children, however, refused to come on the phone in spite of Shinde's entreaties. Gomde immediately informed the Vartak Nagar police station, who in turn informed the Pasis and the Mores.The mystery of missing boys may have been solved, but some questions remain. According to practising counsellor and retired faculty Medical and Psychiatric Social Work Department, Tata Institute of Social Sciences Vineeta Chitale, ``Only when parents err in their parenting does such situations arise. Children, especially in this age-group have specialised needs as they attempt to form their identities.'' She said parents treat the children like adults. ``Peer pressure, the environment and the media exposure cultivate a different set of ideas in the child about his/her goal,'' she said adding, ``when parents refuse to accept this child feels rejected.'' However, she warned against total lack of control. ``Benevolent control,'' she said is the right approach to parenting.
