Troubled shooter takes aim at his demons

In a rare interview a little over a month before the Olympics, he told The Sunday Express that his positive mindset — “rising of the sun”, he called it — was back. “I’ve been deep in the dumps for lack of personal motivation,” he said in a detailed e-mail interview. “If you have noticed, my performance took a dip after I won gold at the Cairo World Cup in 2006. To start with, I immediately pulled myself out of all competitions from January 2007 to July 2007. This phase also coincided with the loss of motivation to be my best, for a variety of reasons.”

During the six-month break in 2007 and subsequent lows in the first half of the Olympic year, Rathore dealt with recurring bouts of self-doubt. “Probably people thought that there was something terribly wrong with my shooting. In fact, I pondered over the technical reasons for low scores, kept changing my styles and adjusting my gun,” he said.

It was at this stage that Rathore, desperately needing to wipe out the pessimism, found a coach, Josh Lakatos, a silver-medallist at the 1996 Atlanta Games. The troubled shooter experienced an instant connect as Lakatos had travelled the same traumatic road as Rathore.

After his Atlanta silver, the American saw motivation evaporate and expectations bloat. By the time Sydney 2000 was approaching, Lakatos had lost his way. “Josh could see me heading the same way and wanted me to look at the real reason for not doing well in competitions. This meant answering the basic question of what I love doing in life, what gives me a sense of satisfaction and happiness,” said Rathore.

After a couple of sessions with Lakatos, Rathore said he experienced a metamorphosis. Today, he says he isn’t too worried about failure or success and is sure he will rise to the challenge in Beijing. “I guess this is my nature. The past does not matter and the future is uncertain. I am trying to be my best in the present. While doing it, the results are not always positive, but stopping is surely not a positive result,” he said.

The man, who after the Athens silver was projected as someone who could do no wrong, is now much more comfortable with chinks in his armour. “I have seen in my experience that sometimes the weaknesses vanish in a few days and sometimes they linger on. Just thinking of this uncertainty gives me a thrill. I will do what I must do and then wait for my destiny to reveal itself.”

In conclusion, Rathore said: “I wish every Indian Olympic athlete preparing for the 2008 Olympics the very best. Let someone bring the Olympic gold to India.” Someone? Maybe, it’s his way of avoiding the pressure of expectations, or perhaps he is saying, “Don’t expect only me to be your best shot.”