The day Transparency International released its report on corruption in India, we visited the government’s newly created Pubic Accountability Cell for a copy of the recently passed Freedom of Information Bill. A section officer sent a peon for the document and directed a keen glance at us. “So, you are interested in how public funds are spent, hmm?” he asked. “Er, yes.particularly with Transparency’s revelations,” we replied a little nervously. “Their report says Indians pay Rs 26728 crores as bribes each year, that the health sector is the most corrupt, accounting for over Rs 7500 crores.” “Bah!” he exploded. “These statistics are so misleading. When you say Rs 26728 crores are paid as bribes, don’t you realize that Rs 26728 crores are also received as bribes? So why all this fuss, hain ji? No money is leaving the economy, there is no hawala or FEMA violation.” He shook his head sadly. “Obviously there is some motive, some hidden agenda behind Transparency’s report, we need more transparency in the working of such NGOs.” We were startled, but decided not to provoke him. We needed that copy of the F.A. Bill. “Well,” we said, “the report also highlights an interesting regional variance in corruption between north and south India. For some strange reason, more bribes are paid to doctors and other health-care workers in the south than in the north. The same is true in the education sector as well. It seems that 70 per cent of students in the south pay donations to get admission to schools and colleges, whereas only 42 per cent do so in the north.” Our colleague roared with laughter. “Arre, that’s because there are far fewer functioning hospitals and educational institutions in the north than in the south!” he replied, wiping away tears of mirth. “If there are fewer places in which to pay bribes, it is true that the individual bribe amounts may be very high- after all, this is law of demand and supply. Yet, the gross amount of bribe-money paid will be much less when compared with the south. I am merely giving you a basic lesson in socio-economics,” he added proudly, “which I studied at University of Bulandshahr, affiliated to Montreal Institute of Financial Analysis.” He paused to polish his spectacles. “You must also realize that the average northern citizen has only a limited amount of money for bribery. Health uses up most of this, leaving very little for education. This is indeed the root cause of illiteracy in the North..” Mercifully, at this juncture the peon entered with the copy of the F.A. Bill. We muttered our thanks as the section officer handed it over. “Happy New Year, wish you good health!” he called cheerfully even as we dodged the peon’s outstretched palm and fled out the door.
