Time Out

But recently, as I browsed through the innumerable visiting cards I have collected, I was caught in a vortex of confusion, of who’s important, who’s not. Of who’s successful, who’s not. Of who’s a hot shot, who’s not!I tore my hair out trying to make some sense actually, first I tried tearing some of those cards — but many of them were made of "non-tearable" material, meant for posterity perhaps! Now, managing directors, vice presidents, executive directors and CEOs are some of the ultimate posts in the cut-throat world of corporate offices. But it was interesting to note that you don’t have to be a hot shot industrialist to attain any top-notch designation. A myriad of small entrepreneurs can flash cards which straightaway elevate them to the post of MD. That too, at a relatively young age. There’s nothing to be scornful about such entrepreneurship, thanks to industrialisation — only now, there seem to be too many people at the top. How many of them hit rock bottom surely but steadily is another matter.

Even the post of a vice president is nothing to be envious about. You can get yourself such fancy designations without having to work very hard or without being employed in a multinational or reputed Indian company.

And then, of course, there is the consultant the very word conjures an image of a brilliant, technical expert. But boy, now you could be a consultant in “exports” and that could relate to anything — from garments (the most popular of them of all) to leather to food. And you could be just an enterprising graduate with a short course as an add-on.

And then, there are designations which are actually at a very senior level, but you will never know. Now, who would not think much of a post like a deputy general manager? But the other day, someone enlightened me that a DGM in most reputed Indian companies like TELCO is a high-level post. For that matter, the post of a general manager has lost the halo that surrounded it, having been overshadowed by a myriad of vice-presidents and CEOs!

Sad but true, but for much of the civilian population, there is still confusion between a captain in the Merchant Navy and a captain in the Army, but the fact that the former is a relatively senior post, while the latter is a junior grade has to be drilled into our ignorant minds. Besides, it is not uncommon amongst civilians to refer to a major general simply as a major, which is indeed a major faux pas.

Now, what would you think of a steward as your designation? In the airlines business, it would mean someone who attends to passengers and serves them meals. But if you are working in any of the race course organisations, then a steward is a senior manager. One of my friend who runs an exotic Hyderabadi cuisine restaurant in Pune used to keep telling me that her hubby is a steward at the Royal Western India Turf Club. I never understood until she called me to her house one day, which was a stately bungalow opposite the RWITC.

Last but not the least, designations at newspaper offices are equally deceptive. The other day a reader agitatedly called up and asked if he could speak to a senior editorial person about some urgent matter, preferably a “Sub-Editor!” Thanks to Bollywood, a sub-editor, which is actually the first step in the ladder of progress for a journalist, has been glorified to such an extent, that laymen find it strange that an “Assistant Editor” is a senior designation.

Maybe it is time we changed the famous Shakespearean quote of “What’s in a name?” to “What’s in a designation?”