The war before dinner

Would this progress be one-sided or would Pakistan also make efforts towards something resembling progress in the battle field? He began to fidget in a manner which suggested: how can I share the highest level of intelligence in front of all these fluzies surrounding you.

Then he slapped his ample stomach to create the sort of hollow sound that comes when the left tabla is struck. It was like a host striking a gong to attract attention for an after dinner speech. “If the Pakistanis as much as place their finger on the nuclear trigger” he continued grinding his teeth, “they will be rapped very hard on the knuckles by the Americans.”

“Did you watch the joint press conference by US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and British Defence Secretary Geof Hoon?” I stuttered.

“Rumsfeld expanded at length on how useful Pakistan had been in the war against terrorism and should hostilities between India and Pakistan break out, Pakistan would have to withdraw its troops from the Afghan front — that would harm the coalition efforts in Afghanistan.”

My friend was now getting more aggressive by the minute. “But Rumsfeld also said that nuclear weapons had never been used in 57 years” he thumped the table. “And they are not going to let Pakistan use these weapons.”

I said there was another way of interpreting what Rumsfeld said. He implied that a conflict between the two must be averted because it could cross the nuclear threshold, something that has not happened in 57 years.

How do you know that the Pakistani lemon has not been squeezed dry in the Afghan campaign and that it would harm nobody if Islamabad is administered a one-two to shut the militant tap on Kashmir, he continued.

In that case how do you explain the three-nation summit held in Islamabad on May 30 to discuss oil and gas pipelines from Turkmenistan to Pakistan via Afghanistan? Surely, the Islamabad summit was not without American sanction.

The international community has, of course, responded to India’s coercive diplomacy. But this should not delude anyone into believing that Pakistan’s centrality to western purposes is in doubt particularly now that the projection of power in Central Asia is a primary American interest.

Military bases in Pakistan, Tajikistan, Kyrghyzistan, Uzbekistan, Georgia and even the latest Bush-Putin arrangements put in place at the Moscow summit are all geared towards this enlarging Central Asian focus.

“You must realise”, the columnist added, “public opinion in the country is 100 per cent behind the government’s war preparation — in fact, public opinion is for war”. By now, a petite social scientist the journalist had dubbed a “fluzy” perked up.

“How do you know?” she asked. “Have you been taken into confidence at the highest level on this one too?”

“I am a psephologist myself” he seemed taken aback a bit.

“These deployments have been on since the December attack on our Parliament but the BJP was trounced in UP, Uttaranchal, Punjab (on the border), Manipur and even some seats in Gujarat. Yes, the shame of the Gujarat carnage has been taken off the newscasts since the latest escalation after the brutal murders in Kashmir by terrorists”, she said.

“That is the point” he said triumphantly. “Now the national mood is for war”.

But just this week the BJP lost every seat in the 21 byelections. “Surely some of this national mood should have reflected in the results”. She persisted.

He began to flare in the nostrils.

“You are biased” he said flailing his arms. “The Congress also lost every seat in those byelections”, he glared at her.

Someone at the far end shouted. “Since both the caste parties are plummeting, the only way to save the situation is a war”.

Before the conversation dipped to the lowest levels of casteist discourse, the host hurriedly announced dinner.