I’M gna cry. Jst got hme. Maggi over.’That’s not an FMCG wet dream. One day last week, at about midnight, a colleague despatched that lament for a Rs 10 packet of noodles, before going to bed hungry.Years ago, Maggi, synonymous with the instant noodle concept, was pitched to grown-up working women; till they discovered their biggest consumers were shorter and younger. Little children, possibly fascinated by the springiness, loved the stuff, and by repositioning their advertising towards smaller buyers, Nestle (which owns Maggi) managed to double its sales. But here’s a note to the folks at Nestle: The average singleton today stands on the nutritional legs of a packet of their two-minute wonder. I’ve been noodle-driven since I was six. My mother was a staunch member of the disguised-food brigade, which meant my springs were often weighed down by a mountain of vegetable and omelette shreds. Smattered with a load of gooey Heinz ketchup, a dish of noodles was also how I practiced my fork hand. While the callow taste buds of moppets don’t need much more than the regulation chicken/ tomato/curry-flavoured noodles clumped with freeze-dried veggies, older folks ought to be able to go one better. HEAVE HO Like goulash and gumbo, the instant noodle can be a serious R&D project. Here’s what some folks throw in: • Paneer • Mayonnaise • Tandoori chicken • Chicken nuggets • Soy nuggets • Meat masala • Fish balls • Minced meat • Leftover bhaji • Curry and gravy of all kinds Over the years, I’ve worked it into a party favourite. And while Maggi has a home advantage, Koka, the big daddy of the instant noodle world, is absolutely the best. In Mumbai, a shopping mall in southern Worli hosts the brand for a hefty Rs 60 a packet. For almost 20 years, the Singaporean company’s been producing noodles that simply refuse to get squishy, while retaining the slurp factor all the way. During college, living in the upside-down climate of Sydney, a packet of Maggi meant two things: Instant gratification and a tenuous link to home-cooked food. Without the slightest possibility of an upma or sambar anywhere, I sprinkled, tossed and tadka-fried enough masala onto a bowl of noodles to make up for the lack of ghar ka khana. STAR BUDS The instant noodle is manna for some celebrity chefs as well When I was in university, I was Instant Noodle King. It was my breakfast, lunch and dinner. So I had to innovate to keep my sanity. My version had red and green peppers, chopped onions, Tabasco and lots of cheese. UPEN PATEL, model I jazz up instant noodles all the time. I can’t even remember the last time I had them plain. I always add a few eggs straight onto the noodles for a flaky texture, and chopped sausages are the best. And I use tomato ketchup and mustard as condiments. KUNAL VIJAYKAR, actor Even meat-flavoured instant noodles aren’t meaty enough for me. So I usually add shreds of chicken or sausage pieces. But slivers of ham are my favourite. When there’s no meat around, I load up on ketchup and sprinkle oregano before serving. NAUHEED CYRUSI, actorI love garlic in my instant noodles. You can even try this on a date, this aphrodisiac really works. But my favourite combo is spring onions and mushroom. ISSHITA ARUN, actor Actually, it isn’t as bad as it sounds. You start with the usual garlic-onion-diced-tomato mixture, bung in any leftover (deboned) meats (chicken, beef) plus some scrambled egg. Fold the whole thing into a packet of cooked and flavoured noodles. Then follow the usual tadka routine—black mustard seeds, curry leaves. There’s also the wet version. High in the winding mountain paths towards Mussoorie, there’s a small junction called char rasta (four roads), totally unremarkable save for the two tea shops that sit on it. Besides the ubiquitous toast and chai, they serve up, most wondrously, soupy noodles. Noodles, as the Chinese meant it, was never meant to be without its soup, so this isn’t ingenious. But the Mussoorie version combines the best of wet and dry. Retain the flavoured water in which the noodles are cooked, then add stir-fried garlic, onion, diced tomato and green chillies to the mixture. Lots of heat, lots of slurp. Soupy, mushy, masala-fried or otherwise, from five-year-olds to 25, you can fix it just the way you like it. And when it comes to emergencies, this one’s up there with the torch light. So, go on, keep a family pack handy for those SOS nights.
