The gang of four, five…

Considering that these days we are surrounded by turncoats, professional topplers, destablisers and blackmailers, it was a rare opportunity to see politicians who believed in the politics of satyagraha. ‘‘This is our track record,’’ explained Fernandes, ‘‘and now the Congress is calling us names. This is worse than the Emergency!’’

‘‘Even Gandhi was abused by the British,’’ I pointed out, ‘‘they called him a half naked fakir’’.

‘‘Why are they calling us the gang of four,’’ asked Jaya Jaitley.

‘‘Could this be because this is a Left-supported government,’’ I replied. ‘‘I heard this last being used during the era of Chairman Mao.’’

‘‘We were actually five — Chandrashekhar, Sanjay Nirupam, George, Subramaniam Swamy and myself,’’ said Jaitley.

‘‘But how many do you need to bring down the government considering that some of you are not even MPS,’’ I asked.

‘‘Actually we are six,’’ ventured Swamy, ‘‘not four… they want us to keep counting and forget the real issues.’’ Others were not so sure. A few wanted a head count.

‘‘This is a waste of time,’’ thundered Chandrashekhar, ‘‘let’s take up the real issue. Why am I here?’’

I turned to the former Defence Minister. I asked him whether his ire against the present government had anything to do with their decision to look at some old Defence deals.

‘‘Absolutely not,’’ he replied, ‘‘my objection is that I wanted them to order an enquiry into the coffins scam, they ended up ordering a CBI Tehelka probe…’’

‘‘Don’t blame them,’’ I explained, ‘‘as a policy, they want to do the opposite of what the Left tells them. But they are so used to it, they must have ordered the wrong probe… But what is wrong with the Tehelka probe?’’

‘‘This is just to harass us,’’ explained Jaitley. ‘‘First, we said the tapes were edited. Now that they claim the tapes are authentic, we reiterate our stand that even if the tapes are authentic there was nothing that was said that could even remotely be associated with a kickback.’’

‘‘And Bangaru Laxman?’’ I asked, feeling sorry that he was left out.

‘‘He was collecting money for the party. What has not been taped is his decision the following day to issue a receipt,’’ explained Jaitley. ‘‘Our point is that the tapes should have one week of Bangaru, not just a few minutes of him accepting the money.’’

‘‘Interesting,’’ I pointed out, ‘‘but what are the issues you honest men and women are likely to raise?’’

‘‘My experience of tracking down these tainted leaders is vast,’’ explained Subramaniam Swamy, ‘‘but where are honest men these days — people who made it a mission to look at probity in public life…’’

‘‘Wait a minute,’’ interrupted Chandrashekhar, ‘‘I thought this meeting was called because you have the numbers in place and wanted a consensus Prime Minister since both Vajpayee and L K Advani are out of the race…’’

‘‘Of course you are the ideal PM,’’ explained Jaitley, ‘‘you have the longest experience as PM-in-waiting.’’