Tags:
Journalism of Courage
It all started with the e-ticket. Book it online, take a photocopy, memorise the PIN number of the booking and, of course, photo identification. Now, all airlines advise passengers in bold and italics to carry valid photo identification. I guess that means I can’t use my Wimbledon Club Card to get on board the plane. I might lob a few tennis balls around and become a security hazard. So in my case I use a driver’s licence, which was made 15 years ago. Unfortunately, both I and the card have become older.
On a flight, I lost the all-important credit card photocopy. On landing, an SMS informed me that I had used Rs 2 lakh from my card over the last one hour. It ended with the words, ‘Thanks for using our bank.’ I now fly with a Rs 4 lakh worth finger-print analyser, retina scanner, DNA tester security folder, in which I securely keep the credit card photocopy. But now there are other problems. The check-in counter lady looks at my licence and says: “ Who is this in the photograph? We ask for a valid photo ID.”
Me: “But that is me, albeit 15 years ago, and no regional transport office would like to work hard enough to
update my photograph.”
“You could be impersonating the customer and be a threat to flight security,” the lady at the counter went on.
Her observations led me to think up ways on how I should respond to her…
SCENARIO ONE: “But, ma’m, I’m eighty years old and need two assistants to help me to the bathroom. How can I be a security risk?”
“You could have sleeping gas in your ventilator, maybe even Sarin nerve gas. Security, get this man out of here.”
“No, no… I have an appointment with my heart surgeon and my 18-year-old wife is waiting for me. Help!”
SCENARIO TWO: “Oh you bought a Doberman! Have you registered it with the special dog cell?”
SCENARIO THREE: “Ah! Transporting 30 tonnes of fertiliser? It could be used to make a bomb. Get it scanned at the secure manure department.”
Happy flying!
