At a time when elections are once again in the air—from Chiplun and Madhepura to Chicago and Massachusetts—here are a few general observations about life and the life forms around us.• Just think about it. The Sonia Gandhi-Sharad Pawar relationship must rank as one of the more curious in Indian politics. They keep burying the hatchet—sometimes in each other’s back. But, as they say, there are two sides to everything and a good politician takes both. • Just think about it. Say what you want about Maharashtra politics but its politicians are certainly not cheap. Each one of them—Sugar Daddies or Property Papas—have fortunes that could shame the Sultan of Brunei. But it’s as they say in Marathi, paishakade paisa jato. Money attracts money. But how come the starving tribals of Malegaon don’t see any of it? • Just think about it. Say what you want about Maharashtra politics but it has, with all those rebels in the fray, thrown up a whole new psephological index. It’s no longer the Index of Opposition Unity that is in currency but the Index of Party Disunity. • Just think about it. It’s great to have candidates in the fray filing their nominations from jail—as some worthies have in Maharashtra and elsewhere. This way, we at least know where to find our MP or MLA, should the need for some quick interaction arise. • Just think about it. The most charismatic resident jailbird this time is none other than Rajesh Ranjan, better known as Pappu Yadav, currently resident of a VIP cell in Beur Jail, after having been torn away from the comforts of the VIP ward of Patna Medical Hospital by court ruling. He is being brought to Madhepura’s voters courtesy Union Railway Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav, himself a former resident of Beur Jail, who continues to take extremely seriously his responsibilities of plying Parliament with a never ending supply of tainted MPs. • Just think about it. In the US, democracy works in mysterious ways. Some 50 million couch potatoes first watch George W Bush and John Kerry slug it out in television debates and then vote for one or the other—in an opinion poll. • Just think about it. The Bush-Kerry debates remind one of the Laurel and Hardy shows of yore. Kerry is a spitting image of Old Stan. Bush may lack the girth of Olie but still manages to be twice as funny. • Just think about it. George Bush must now take seriously a famous observation he once made: ‘‘If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.’’ He can only hope that his ‘‘future will be better tomorrow’’—God and Florida willing. • Just think about it. Reports from the US now say that John Kerry has finally and conclusively decided on his position on Iraq: he is ‘foragainst’ the war. • Just think about it. The fate of Indian cricket, which generates billions of rupees in terms of revenue and is the presiding deity of at least 200 million Indians, crucially hinges on three small bones in the body of a small man. The humerus, radius and ulna, along with the ulnar collateral ligament, which make up Sachin Tendulkar’s elbow, is now the source of an anxiety of pan-India proportions. • Just think about it. That commenting on Indian cricket requires more than an acquaintance with the game. We now need to know our orthopaedics in order to comment knowledgeably about India’s cricketing performances given the state of Tendulkar elbow and Laxman’s knee, Balaji’s pectorals and Kumble’s shoulders, Ganguly’s back and Agarkar’s shin, Harbajan Singh’s index finger and Nehra’s ankles, not to speak of poor Zaheer Khan’s hamstring muscles. • And, finally, just think about it. As the fortunes of Indian cricket and cricketers gently decline, that of the BCCI and Jagmohan Dalmiya rise and rise. I would argue that Dalmiya must forthwith be included in the national team. He’s a brilliant all-rounder, having batted for much longer than the average Indian batsman and bowled out more individuals than Anil Kumble has in a decade (observe his crafty googlies to understand the finer points of Indian cricket and its administration).
