Hollywood unleashes whale-sized Anglomania on none other than the Bard of Avon, William Shakespeare. The bard played by Joseph Fiennes suffers from writer8217;s block. You see, he8217;s not only out of inspiration and finance while penning the strangely titled Romeo and Ethel the Pirate8217;s daughter.

That8217;s when he8217;s smitten by rich heiress Gwyneth Paltrow, who disguises herself as a boy to play Romeo women weren8217;t allowed onstage in Elizabethen England in his play. How Fiennes romances Paltrow and battles her fiancee the Earl of Wessex Colin Firth, rewriting his classic along the way, forms the rest of the play, er, film.

Shakespeare indeed seems like a play that strayed on to celluloid and director John Madden puts together a wooden cast. Possibly has something to do with Will8217;s block. Lead star Fiennes has this perennially wide-eyed, startled lookabout him. And the overhyped, Gwyneth Paltrow wins Oscar for Best Actress, when she should have been Razzie frontrunner. There8217;s more wood in this film than in the oak-filled English woods. The film is rescued by a supporting cast of competent performers like Geoffrey Rush as a harried theatre owner.

The Academy truly moves in mysterious ways. First overlooking Terence Malick8217;s acclaimed Thin Red Line and Shekhar Kapur8217;s Elizabeth then it8217;s the seven Oscars for Shakespeare.

Stranger still is the Best Supporting Actress for Judie Dench in her eight-minute walk-on as Queen Elizabeth. Beginning with unflappable Bond boss M8217;, Dench has done these iron maiden roles for so long she could act the next one in her sleep.

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To cut a long story short, Shakespeare is an average film and draws a few laughs. But was it worth seven Oscars? No.

Showing at Regal

8212; SANDEEP UNNITHAN