Quiet please, New York

Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's crusade for a sweeter Big Apple has become a serious PR challenge after a speech this week in which he fine-tuned h...

Mayor Rudolph Giuliani’s crusade for a sweeter Big Apple has become a serious PR challenge after a speech this week in which he fine-tuned his clampdown on anti-social behaviour into an instruction to New Yorkers to become “neat, quiet and polite”.

This order to a people who are by tradition scruffy, noisy and rude came as part of the latest package of reforms in what is dubbed Rudy’s civil war.His crusade to transform the city began in his first term with such broad-brush considerations as breaking Cosa Nostra, decreasing the murder rate and making the subway safe.

The second term has been concerned with local detail, and earlier this week Giuliani began his war on the sex shops and topless bars of Manhattan.Another recent clampdown was on jaywalkers those who ignore the “Don’t Walk” light at pedestrian crossings. This wheeze has been largely successful, striking the fear of a fine into those who try their luck against the traffic. The downside is that already boisterous motorists are taking fulladvantage of the right to hoot and speed at wayward pedestrians.Then came Giuliani’s speech this week to 150 community leaders, in which he laid down the following commandments:

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In response to the jaywalking clamour, motorists face a “zero tolerance” campaign, with immediate arrest and fines for those driving faster than 30mph;

There will be an increase in taxi ranks to stamp out the New York tradition of cabbies “cutting over three lanes of traffic in order to get a fare”

A dress code will require teachers to be “smart and presentable”. Civic classes a mainstay of American education in the 1950s will return to teach Giulianiism to children;

Anyone “who drops as much as a gum wrapper” will face the wrath of anti-litter enforcers;

Neighbourhood “noise sweeps” will be aimed particularly at car alarms, owners facing arrest if the din continues for longer than three minutes.

Giuliani promises a zero-tolerance day soon when, without warning, the above will all besuddenly and ruthlessly enforced. The citizens of New York, says their mayor, need to “slow up, down, quiet up, and always remember to say thank you”

.It’s like asking his Italian ancestors not to eat pasta.

The Guardian News Service

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