A millionaire moment

Millionaire host Cedric ‘The Entertainer’ dispatched me with a sympathetic farewell. The audience applauded warmly. I exited the stage. My moment in the spotlight and my bid to be a millionaire was over.

The loss I felt was only slightly eased by the fact that this was all for practice. I had been invited to take part in a rehearsal show that will never be aired. (Which means no one will ever know my lame-brain final answer.)

On September 2,the new season of Millionaire premieres for real,ushering in new host Cedric ‘The Entertainer’,who follows Meredith Vieira’s 11 seasons and,of course,Regis Philbin,who emceed the prime-time ABC version from 2000 to 2002.

The Millionaire run-through I appeared on was one of a couple Cedric hosted just days before beginning the real-deal,five-a-day,five-days-per-week regimen that yields a season’s requisite 175 shows in only 35 production days.

Cedric’s credits include the Barbershop films,The Original Kings of Comedy and his current sitcom The Soul Man,along with his stand-up career. Clearly,he’s a seasoned pro,complete with dapper wardrobe and signature trove of jaunty headwear.

Cedric isn’t privy to answers to the questions he asks,which suits him fine. “It’s not really my job to act like I’m the smartest guy in the room,” he said. “But you have to know the game. They’re serious about the rules.”

Yes,they—the producers—are very serious. Millionaire even has a production attorney,Scott Greenberg,whose job includes making sure those rules are obeyed. Greenberg gives each contestant a detailed briefing as part of the lengthy preparation process. “Be careful how you use the word ‘jump’,” he cautioned me at one point,referring to the new life-line (‘Phone a Friend’ is gone) where you don’t know an answer and want to bail. “If you say,‘I’m gonna have to jump this question’,that may trigger an actual jump.”

Another briefing comes from executive producer Rich Sirop,whose tenure with the show goes back to 2000. Sirop shares strategies on how to best decipher a question. He should know: He leads the team that,isolated from the rest of the staff to ensure security,writes the questions—about 3,000 of them each season.

I guess I didn’t listen well enough to what he had to say. A question that stymied me had an obvious answer among its four choices,which happened to be the names of four department store chains. Never mind what the question was,Target seemed to scream “Choose me” over,say,Sears or Walmart. But I missed that verbal target and,instead,jumped the question.

Thinking out loud is recommended by the producers. Not only does it help the player parse the trickier questions,it also builds suspense among viewers. So I even agonised theatrically over all the options seeking which Washington landmark was described by Eleanor Roosevelt as “that simple shaft,so tall and straight”. After answering the Washington Monument,I was (mock) richer by $1,000.

By then I was enjoying a surge in confidence.

“What would you do if you won all this money?” Cedric asked me just before the question that ended it all. “I’d buy a collection of hats like you’ve got,” I fired back smartly.

“You would look smooth in this,brother,” Cedric chuckled.

Oh,well. It was fun to pretend.

Frazier Moore