With two chatter-box daughters in our family, we often sit after dinner for long chats exchanging old family anecdotes. On one such night, a few years ago, the topic of discussion veered to how marriages were fixed in our families. It was very exciting for our girls to discover how their great grandparents and grandparents got married. My grandmother was only 11 and grandfather 13 when they wed. At that time, there was no system of the boy seeing the girl before marriage and their nuptials were fixed through a barber who went to see the boy. Not finding anything to measure his height, he used his umbrella. He came back and announced that the boy was one and a half umbrellas tall!“What about your grandparents’ wedding, Pa?” asked the elder one. “Well they were also married off as children,” he replied. “They were of equal age and height but my dadaji shot up after marriage to be a six-footer while dadi remained only four feet and a few inches!” The discussion now turned to the weddings of our respective parents. My mother was 16. People from my father’s house had come to see her. As was the custom those days in UP, she was asked to sing some bhajans and read an English newspaper before approval was granted. “My parents had a love marriage,” began my husband, which excited the girls no end. “Yes, my mother was the sister of my father’s best friend. He liked the girl and proposed. That was what they considered a love marriage then.”“Now tell us about your wedding,” asked the younger one. They were ever so eager to hear our story, again and again! So we related it for the umpteenth time. Ours was an arranged marriage, but an unorthodox one. My husband, an air force officer, had come home on annual leave. At that point, my parents and I had gone to “see” him and — as he often jokes — unlike in the movies, it was he who came out with a tray of tea! We got engaged the next day and a few dates and movies later, got married.Our girls came up with their own marriage plans. The elder one plumped for a love marriage, “But I promise when I find a boy you guys will be the first to know.” We had laughed at this but that’s what she did! The younger one didn’t take time deciding, “I’ll marry a boy of your choice — after all, who wants to go to so much trouble!” She added, “By the way, Mom, remember to take an umbrella when you go to meet my prospective husband!”
