Sixty six! Gosh, what a terrific age for an endeavour that holds no promise, what a compelling watermark to breach. Gloria Steinem's marriage at the glorious age of 66 is liberating, to say the least. So what if she ate her words after likening women to fish and men to bicycles? Greater mortals have made more Himalayan blunders.Maybe, back then not being married was a statement. Today, being single isno big deal, what with every second woman you meet not only unmarried butwithout a man. And there is nothing you can tell them to make them rush forone.Not having read a single feminist tract in my life, except for the odd MadhuKishwar article in this newspaper (having a feminist mother is enough, phew), I don't think I can comment on her as an icon. For me, what was exciting was the age.Here I was, trying to put my finger on the right age for a woman to marry.This was after my theory that ``women shouldn't marry, let men do themarrying'' was taken apart. How do you mean, they asked me, let the menmarry? Yeah, I meant, let them change their names and leave their mother'shomes and live with their spouses' parents and face the ultimate horror oftheir lives - that they will now have to do all that their mothers did (andhow they hated her for doing it) - killing herself day after day doingstultifying chores. That is, work your office and manage home; cook mealsand attend to the laundry, the sick bai, the paperwallah, the doodhwallah,the cablewallah, the electricity bills and the telephone bills and the noseyneighbours and the in-laws and the in-laws. and I haven't even begun onpregnancy yet.But no, they said, marry you must! So okay. Not 45, they said. Obviously,what about child birth? There is no escape from that. Okay, 38? A womanquite settled, who knows her mind? Apparently, no man would want tohoneymoon a 38-year-old, middle-aged woman. What about 35? No, you havealready started greying. And then you are reminded, beauty is still infashion. Twenty nine? What about 29? That's a nice age? Marriage at 29 and a child at 32? Hello, hello, they said: do you watch Ally McBeal?Which is why Gloria Steinem is bang-on. Imagine, 66! The wrinkles have justsettled on your face. You don't need to worry about them any more. You haveestablished yourself. Maybe, have even retired and are getting along tendingyour kitchen garden, at peace with all those little rebellions you won whichare now being carried on by sturdier shoulders. Your nephews and nieces aregrowing up around you and you are reliving youth, dispensing advice as theycome in. And yes, you have the best put-downer: Try somebody your age.Just the time for thoughts to turn to marriage. Really walk into the sunsethand in hand. No cooking, no washing. No errands to run, no demands made,none met with. A truly equal relationship. No children. No crushed vaginas,no enemas.A judge in a family court once described marriage to me as the only relationship - though thoroughly artificial - that any person, literate,illiterate, poor, rich, could access to reach mental, spiritual and divineheights. (Don't ask me which ladder he was looking up at.) There is a catch,of course; you cannot get away with short shrift. ``It is like entering anocean. hold your nose and dive, only then will you be able to rise up inconsciousness.''And 66 is a nice age to get into the water.
