Let Barbie go

Better to euthanise the 46-year-old doll than subject us to another fanciful makeover

She8217;s 46 years old, and she8217;s turned into the Norma Desmond of the doll world, mesmerised by her own glam past, running out of everything but delusion and attitude.

Legions of Mattelistas have gone through Barbie boot camp, brainstorming, straining to put some freshness back into the Barb. The results? She8217;s gone through Mattel staff like Donald Trump. Now it8217;s Neil Friedman8217;s turn in the Barbie box. He8217;s the third head of Mattel brands in five years, and he is on a quest to, as he puts it, put the 8220;wow8221; back in Barbie. Me, I think there8217;s no 8220;wow8221; to revive. Only 8220;ow.8221; I come to bury Barbie, not to praise her8230;She8217;s been through reinventions and reincarnations and re-imaginings. Now it8217;s time for decommissioning America8217;s doll8230;

Barbie is one of only 34 toys in the National Toy Hall of Fame, right between alphabet blocks and the bicycle. She8217;s had one hell of a run. Her shape is as recognisable as the Coke bottle. She could symbolize anything you want her to 8212; couture culture, slavering consumerism, a fetishistic youth-and-boobs society. She has become a publicly traded commodity, like gold and pork bellies. Collectors don8217;t regard her as a toy but as a plastic T-bill, to be locked away and cashed in at the right moment8230;

Barbie has been beyond big, an instantly recognizable icon 8212; Mickey Mouse with a D cup. But Mattel was loath to acknowledge that 8220;big8221; cuts both ways. It kept filing lawsuits to stop people from playing off the symbolic Barbie with artworks and parodies 8212; until the courts told Mattel to put a sock in it. Barbie is as much fair game as the president of the United States. So a Danish band could go ahead and sing, 8220;I8217;m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world/Life in plastic, it8217;s fantastic!/You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.8221; And artist Tom Forsythe could go ahead with his 8220;Food Chain Barbie8221; photo series 8212; Barbie whirring in a blender, Barbie as enchilada filling, Barbie fondued.

The nail in Barbie8217;s grotesquely proportioned coffin is last winter8217;s study by a British university about how ferociously little girls mutilate their Barbies, just for fun. They scalp them and dismember them and burn them and microwave them. Frankly, Barbie had it coming. She8217;s just too unreal8230;

Excerpted from 8216;Kill Barbie8217; by Patt Morrison in the 8216;LA Times8217;