10, JanpathJuly 30, 1999Mamma mia,Don't know where to cominciare, where to begin. Ho una sorpresa per lei, we have a surprise for you. Mamma, tu figlia Sonia has decided to take the plunge, decided to get into battaglia mode. Your Sonia, mamma, has decided to contest the elections. Now we know what papa will say he'll say that silly raggaza doesn't andare ci piedi di, that silly girl doesn't know how to act with caution.But mamma, you and papa must realise that we are grown up now, we are not your little ragazza, your little bambino, any more. We are the nuora, the bahu, of the nation and we must not just be the bahu of the nation but be seen to be the bahu of the nation. This paese, this country needs us, mamma, to lead it out of the mess it is in. It's the only way we can be rid of those buffos who are presently in power and who are intent on destroying the nation that Rajiv built, those buffos who are intent ondestroying your daughter's peace of mind.Such buffos you will not see even in the opera! That idiota Maneka is also with them. They think they can finish us, and they will pay the prezzo for that, certamente! Is it for this that we gave up Italy, we gave up your wonderful polpette and minestrone (we still long for that soup you make, mamma, it's raining here and we sometimes we dream of a steaming bowl of it!). Is it for this that we started wearing saris - the most uncomfortable vestiti in the monda, certamente! - which we have to wrap around our head in true bahu style? Is it for this that we married our beloved Rajiv and gave birth to two beautiful bambini? Oh no, mamma, a thousand times no! There is a saying here, jo bahu ko nahin na mane, woh Bharat ko kya pehchane? (my Hindi is improving no?). Translated this reads, ``those who don't respect the bahu, what do they know about being Indian?'' Now how do you like that, mamma? Aren'tyou proud that tu figilia Sonia can inspire such words?The truth is, the people just love us, the women in this country just love us, the minorities in this country just love us, our party colleagues just love us except for those three stupidos who left us in May and good riddance to them is what we say! You must have read how the whole nation rose to our defence when these three had the audacity to attack us for being Italian. And when we resigned in anger, there were hundreds outside our door with flowers and baskets of sweets, ready to fall at our feet.You must have read how we nearly became the Prime Ministero in Aprile, mamma. We even told the Presidento that we had 272 supporters. Sfortunatamente, we discovered two days later that we had only 233 of them and we had to tell the Presidento that we couldn't become the Prime Ministero. But you know our problem, no mamma? We were always bad at sums, remember how our insegnaantes, the maths teachers especially, would complain to you about it?Now we are taking arithmetic classes along with our Hindi classes, so that we don't repeat the mistake. We will need to be very good in maths in the days ahead. Politics in this country, as it is in Italy, is pure mathematics and nothing else, or so the cognoscenti tell us. Verismo, the things we have to do in politics, mamma!Now mamma, wish us well. Non dimenticare, don't forget us in your prayers. And also please send across three pairs of stivali (good strong boots is just we need to trample all over those buffos in the BJP) and, yes, a good ombrello (you don't get good ones here).Saluti a papa and lots of love,Ciao, SoniaPS: We are thinking of adopting this slogan for our forthcoming campaign: pichhli baari Atal Behari, abki bari bahu hamari. Which translates as ``last time it was Atal Behari, this time it is me, me, me!'' Tell me what you think.
