How about it, Mamma? Sonia’s Codice Morale

Once again, Mamma, mi scusi, mi scusi, mi scusi. Sorry, sorry, sorry. We should have kept in touch but tua figlia, your daughter, was molto assorbito, very preoccupied, drafting Our Codice Morale, or Our Moral Code for Our Party. As usual, you know we are constantly having to do everything by Ourselves. The idiotas in the party cannot be trusted with drawing up a morality code perche, because, between you and Us, Mamma, they don’t know what morality is. That’s the bitter verita, truth, but we cannot tell this to anybody but you, caro, dear, Mamma! Cosi, so your daughter, sat down and wrote it. You would have been proud of Us, realmente, really! Remember Our maestra, teacher, in that school in good old Orbassino telling you that Our writing was buono, outstanding in fact? Well, judge for yourself. This is ‘Our Dieci (Ten) Commandments for party colleagues’.

COMMANDMENT UNO: Thou shalt appear to be true followers of Gandhi (although thou art all millionaires and We know it) in a paese, country, of at least 300 million poor people. Each one of them is a potential Congress voter. He or she must realise that We are Them, aam aadmi like them.

COMMANDMENT DUE: Thou shalt sempre, always, keep your Lexus and your Mercedes in the garages of your residence and commute in the white Ambassadors allotted to you, like your party presidente always does.

COMMANDMENT TRE: Thou shalt not use the ufficiale automobile for unofficial purpose. Thy wife shall travel in private transportation (without a red light) for shopping. Ditto the bambini and the cane, dog.

COMMANDMENT QUATTRO: This also means that on no account should thou utilise thy private aircraft in a manner which is not discreto.

COMMANDMENT CINQUE: Thou shalt not go on foreign viaggio, travel, without due reason. If thou must go here and there, take the ferrovai, railway, and visit thy constituency like thy presidente who goes molto often to Rae Bareli. If thou must visit places like Las Vegas and Disney Land, thou shalt travel incognito.

COMMANDMENT SEI: Thou shalt not celebrate the matrimonio, marriage, of thy bambini with ostentation. Those wine-cheese-and-crystal sangeets must be done away somewhere else — in Dubai or Koh Samui, We don’t care — but the public wedding reception shalt be molto semplice, very simple. Please remember your presidente held a simple matrimonio for her dearest Priyanka. That shalt be thy model.

COMMANDMENT SETTE: Thou shalt not make use of ufficiale telephone for thy personal reasons. If thou wishes to know the state of thy bank balance in Switzerland, or the Canary Islands — We are told that some Congress persons do have accounts in these prestigious locations — or call up thy bambini in Wharton or MIT, thou shalt use thy own privato telefono for the purpose.

COMMANDMENT OTTO: Thou shalt not don designer clothing, nor shalt thy wife wear lavish gioielli, jewellery, on public occasions. Politics brings us great wealth but it should conform to our highest moral standards.

COMMANDMENT NOVE: Thou shalt not consort with movie stars (Subbirami Reddyji, please note) unduly. The party has enough trouble as it is with its film stars. Look at the grief Nagmaji and Govindaji has brought to Our party.

COMMANDMENT DIECI: Thou shalt at all times follow thy guida, leader. If thou does that, thou shalt not go wrong.

Mamma, what do you think? Will it work? Realmente, sometimes We feel We are talking to the muro, wall. Anyway, We have got to carry on for the famiglia’s sake. Have rush now, mamma, there’s an importante riunione, important meeting coming up in which We are to discuss this codice. The famiglia is well and the two bebes are growing up. They enjoyed their antenata, grandmother, lighting up the Ravan at the Ram Lila grounds with a pistol last week, si, si! By the way, did We tell you tell you that that they are investigating funds released by Our famous cognata, sister-in-law, when she was a minister?

Lots to tell, but later. Ciao for now,Ti amo, Sonia