Helping with homework

“Snehal manages to complete everything, but it is done in such a half-hearted way that her handwriting is almost illegible and if it is anything to be memorised, she gets stuck halfway through,” is what Radhika Menon faces.

But if this is the story of some parents, there are others who seem to be sailing comfortably over these troubled waters. Take for example Megha Sane whose techniques seem to have worked wonders, with her eldest son Neeraj scoring a whopping 94 per cent in his XII Board this year and younger son Pranav, topping his class consistently.

Says Megha, “I have never sat down to help my boys constantly with their work. I have always encouraged them to do it themselves and my only contribution has been to set down certain guidelines. I have made it clear that completing their homework is their responsibility. They have to be regular and do each day’s work on that day and not push it back for another day. They can have enough time for playing provided their work is completed.

If they want to play first, well they can, but the work must be completed after that even if they have to burn the midnight oil. My sons know that I mean business and they toe the line.” But can younger children understand the concept of being responsible for their work? Six-year-old Hardik certainly seems to. His mother Neha Kotak, a behavioural consultant on the teaching faculty at Symbiosis College of Management, has working hours which keeps her at the office long after her son is home. But Hardik’s homework is usually over by the time Mamma gets home. And how is that? For one, Neha makes it a point to ring up from office and check up on the amount given that day.

Then, Hardik gets down to business after a wash and meal. It is a clear-cut rule that all homework must be completed before he is allowed to play. Megha Sane who is also a teacher can see both sides of the coin. Says she, “There are times when teachers put too much work load on the child, but it is usually the parents who exert too much pressure on their kids to achieve and excel. They burden the child with extra tuitions over and above the homework from school. “I have seen Class V children going to four different teachers for tuitions in four different subjects after school”.

Too much for a nine or ten-year old. A few guidelines however may help children and parents alike:-
Set aside a regular time for doing the homework. For some, the best time is immediately after they return from school, while others may like to rest or play to release tension and then sit down to study.
Some children prefer to study at one go and get up only after they are done for the day. Others however, need to take a break after short intervals or they lose their concentration.
See that your child does each day’s work as soon as it is given and not leave it until the last day. Being regular is essential otherwise work will pile up.
Don’t blame teachers in front of children. You will make them lose respect. If you feel that the teachers are burdening the child, talk to some other students in the same class and their parents and to the teacher also. You may see that your child is facing this problem because he/she is not doing the work as soon as it is given. The others may actually be sailing through.
Don’t sit with your child constantly or they will insist on your presence. Let them learn as soon as possible that homework is given to them and it is their responsibility. Tell them firmly that homework is a part of life and you too, have gone through it at that stage.
In some cases when your child has not completed the work because of his/her own fault don’t bail him out by doing it for them or writing a false note to the teacher. Let your child face the consequences. Once is usually enough.
Never bribe a child to complete the work or they will hold you to ransom every time. Yes, a reward like allowing to watch a favourite program or an outing or to go and play is fine.
Rearing a child is rather like flying a kite. You have to keep it under control but the hold shouldn’t be too rigid to keep it from flying.A light and yet firm hold is indispensable in the flight of a kite and the doing of homework alike.