Goodness Gracious, Me?

Launching into a rapid fire description of my client, I slid to the edge of the seat unconsciously. 8216;8216;Aap aaram se baithiye sit comfortably,8217;8217; said the journalist. Hey, don8217;t be nice, that8217;s my job. But the man spilt honey, and told me that I could call him anytime.

At The Asian Age, I waited outside as the bored operator buzzed his entertainment desk. My victim was in a meeting, so I had to settle for a senior business correspondent instead.

Some people throw the line 8216;8216;Arre stop doing PR yaar8217;8217;, and mean it to be an insult. If you 8216;do8217; PR outside closed doors and get paid to do just that day after day, then you8217;d swallow the line.

8216;8216;Yes, yes. Send me an email,8217;8217; the second scribe said. Not willing to be dismissed so easily, I moved on to a music launch. 8216;8216;No, no, I don8217;t cover that,8217;8217; he muttered, shooting me a weird look and quickly passed on his card, before slipping back into air-conditioned comfort.

At regional newspaper Sakal, I was allowed inside the hallowed newsroom, after a brief wait. The entertainment journo read a newspaper, while passing asides to me. He wanted an interview with the Bollywood biggie. I understood his question only the third time around, and his patience was thinning. I pitched for a four-line mention in his paper. When he relented half-heartedly, I knew the news was unlikely to see the light of the day.

Next, I hopped onto a train to the other side of town. My legs were ready to sink into one of the couches at the plush Business Line office. Their receptionist was a marshmallow. I refused to budge and dropped the celluloid carrot. A special correspondent spent several minutes politely convincing me that he couldn8217;t print a four-line brief.

What if I gave him additional information? 8216;8216;I8217;d like to get the information on my own, ma8217;am,8217;8217; he spat out, 8216;8216;there are enough newspapers downgrading this profession.8217;8217; I wanted to tell him that I was on his side, but was sure he8217;d show me the way out. His exasperation levels leapt when I persisted, 8216;8216;But why can8217;t you print four lines?8217;8217; With arched eyebrows he said, 8216;8216;I don8217;t know why we8217;re having this conversation. I8217;ve been a journalist since 1990, and with all due respect, this is not how we operate.8217;8217; Bravo!

Saved the best for the last. Felt like I walked into Alcatraz. A senior business reporter at The Economic Times agreed to meet me, and then banged the phone down, when I told him that the guards wouldn8217;t let me meet the inmates. Enough PR. I called him right back, told him that it was rude to hang up on people, and then slammed it!

I8217;ve growled too when8212;just as I was facing my own firing squad8212;a mousey voice called to check whether I8217;ve received a release. I8217;ve also drawn blood when a story was passed on, after it was promised to me.

And while a few hours of agony may not change a thing, toucheacute; has a new flavour.