Unlike many of us who have only happy memories of our childhood, there are many others whose tales are different - different enough to make you want to change their entire childhood. They are the victims of child sexual abuse.Child sexual abuse is defined as contact in which a child (below 16 years, under the law) is used as an object of gratification for adult sexual needs or desires. It varies in severity from fondling to intercourse. Acts such as showing the child or taking pornographic pictures or making personally gratifying sexual comments in front of, or with respect to the child, also come under the gamut of child sexual abuse.Sadly, the perpetrator is usually a person the child trusts immensely. Girls are abused by uncles, cousins, close relatives, even fathers and brothers. With boys, the offenders, generally of their own sex, are older friends, teachers, coaches, or servants. Also, the incidence of abuse among boys is much higher than generally believed. Abuse, both among boys and girls, is generally accompanied by conspiracy of silence, where the victim is either cajoled or threatened not to tell the ``secret'' to anyone.Figures on child sexual abuse, though few, are startling. They shatter the myth that this phenomenon is limited to the lower class. The World Health Organisation says that one in every 10 children is sexually abused. A research by a Delhi-based NGO, Sakshi, reportedly says that nearly 80 per cent of women from all classes experience sexual abuse within their own families or by acquaintances.Over 20 per cent of them have undergone serious and continuing forms of sexual abuse by close relatives. Sexual abuse leads to a variety of psychological and behavioural disturbances which depend on the frequency, duration and intimacy of sexual contact. The immediate feeling of the abused child is that of confusion, fear, disgust and shame. The victim grapples with sleep disturbances, inhibition, loneliness and low self-esteem. A dramatic fall in school grades has also been witnessed in abused children.Long-term effects include acute depression, anxiety, fear, sexual disturbances or dysfunctions even suicidal feelings. Sexual abuse, in fact, invades every area of the victim's life. For him, it's a daily struggle with anger, guilt and shame. He finds it difficult to relate to his peers, specially members of the opposite sex.The problem with the phenomenon lies mainly in our attitude. There is a tendency among most of us to believe that it cannot happen in ``our family'' and that such acts take place only in the West.Also, the society places too much value on female virginity. The onus is placed on the victim, who, specially in rape cases, is made to feel guilty. So majority of victimised girls prefer to keep silent rather than ``malign'' their family name.When the offender is a member of the family, the decision to take action against him is specially tough. As a result, most of the abuse cases are either hushed up or ignored.Unfortunately, there is also no legislation in India which deals exclusively with child sexual abuse. Abuse cases are taken up under the rape law (Section 376 IPC) or Section 377 IPC which criminalises ``unnatural'' sexual offences. The laws are not children-friendly. They do not take the needs of the children into consideration. Cases drag on for years and the trauma keeps building for the child.The solution to child sexual abuse lies mainly in our willingness to accept that it does happen in our society. As parents, there is a need for greater interaction with children. They should work towards creating a relationship which is based on trust and not fear. This helps children to tell their troubles freely. It's equally essential that children are educated about their bodies. Once the child is three or four years old, it's a good idea to tell him/her that there are certain areas of the body which cannot be touched by anyone, even a known person. Tell him to report any incident regarding this to you. Children, sometimes, show aversion to a person. Try and get to the root of the problem. Maybe, the child's being abused.Most importantly, once abuse is confirmed, support the child and confront the offender, no matter what! This way, the child does not blame himself for what has happened. It also protects him and other children from being the target of sexual advances. Children lack the power to challenge abuse. It's the adult and the society which have to act responsibly to protect them. It's us who have to ensure that everyone has a happy and safe childhood. Let's do that now!The writer is a Sub-Editor with The Indian Express.
