‘Don’t force marriage on your child, make her independent first’

“Don’t listen to her. Too much education spoils children and then they stop listening to anybody. They develop thinking minds and sharp tongues.”

The only qualifying factor, it seems, to enter into marriage — a union of two families, bodies and souls — is coming of age. The ‘age factor’ marks the very essence of marriage.

We are fatalists and believe that marriages are made in heaven. Parents feel marriage is the end of their responsibilities towards their children.

It is more of a compulsive activity than a choice. The decision of ‘no marriage’ makes a person susceptible in the society and eyebrows are raised on his or her character and capabilities.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. One should enter into it with eyes wide open and not be dictated by age or fascination. It is not all glitter and glamour- clothes, jewellery and travelling. It involves grit, grace and giving.

In a business organisation — one looks for the most qualified personnel to be inducted into the system — because profits and losses can affect its very existence.

But in the institution of marriage, the only qualifying factor becomes age, where the gains and losses can affect generations. It is like throwing your child into deep waters without teaching her how to swim.

Don’t make marriage the focus of your child. Make her independent — socially, economically and psychologically — so that she can create an identity for herself through the mental and physical strengths and the decision-making powers provided by you.

Inculcate values so that you can be proud of her rather than criticise her every move.

Marriage is not a partnership where one is active and the other is a dormant partner. It is a private corporate enterprise — with non-transferable shares — which has many stakeholders and the interest of all requires to be looked after for its continuous existence.

It works on mutual trust and respect for each other.

Therefore, all stakeholders must bring about a mental revolution in their attitudes towards each other and make deliberate efforts towards its success.

Otherwise, it is better to maintain sole proprietorship rights.