Chugging along the Samata track

• The party also resolved that it would silently condemn the divisive politics of the VHP. This would not be communicated even to the VHP in the larger interest of the country.

• All party disputes would be resolved in open forum where the international media would be invited. Any differences between two Samata leaders — abusing in public, fisticuffs etc — would be resolved in a wrestling dangal where a representative of the World Wrestling Federation would be invited. A spokesman of the WWF said ‘‘we can always make fake fights look real and real fights seem fake’’.

• The party condemned the media coverage of the Samata Party. At a briefing later, the party spokesman pointed out that instead of concentrating on other major issues like the Fashion Week in Mumbai or Ram Gopal Verma’s latest movie Bhoot, the media was only concentrating on MiG crashes and Railway accidents.

What about other accidents, like buses overturning on highways, boats capsizing during cyclones or during the Onam festival in Kerala? The media was involved in a deep-rooted conspiracy to ensure that the image of the Defence and Railway Ministers was tarnished, said the party.

• It was resolved, in the larger interest of the country, that the party would never quit the NDA. Instead it would continue to ‘‘serve’’ the country through its ministers and seek more ministries. It was also resolved that any Samata minister who threatened to resign would announce his resignation first, but never commit anything in writing. Disciplinary action would be taken against anyone who followed up his resignation threat with an actual resignation.

• There was all-round praise for Nitish Kumar’s ‘‘national sacrifice’’ — a return to the Railway Ministry despite so many accidents.

• There was praise for George Fernandes’ handling of the Defence Ministry. After George himself flew in one of the MiGS, the IAF pilots have began to trust the aircraft more. Earlier pilots were reporting sick because they had to fly the MiGs.

• Finally, in the true tradition of NDA poet leader Vajpayee, the Samata Party asked the two senior leaders to recite poems to inspire the partymen.

George, as party president, was the first to respond.

‘‘The elections are so near and remember the voters are
so dear,
But with the
ministries we retain, strive we must,
To seek unbridled power till we rust to dust,
Because any laxity and we could well,
Lose all power this election year.’’

A thunderous applause followed.

‘‘Unlike others we will remain outspoken with our views,
Abusing each other in public and
etting everyone his
venom spew,
Thrice I offered to resign,
To ensure partymen fall in line,
Should a Railway Minister quit only if an accident is due?’’

George refused to be outdone.

‘‘As an outspoken Defence Minister,
I have threatened Pakistan and China in times of need,
I visited enemy China and praised
Pakistan;
In political somersaults I take the lead,
Even if Kargil is repeated,
And crashing MiGs get depleted,
I will holler irrationally from Siachen,
Where none may listen but where my heart actually bleeds!’’