Being Jaswant’s mole is good fun

‘‘I’m going to meet The Mole,’’ Mukul said, ignoring my barbs.

‘‘Who? The mole in Jaswant Singh’s tome?’’ I was surprised how Mukul could know what the Prime Minister did not. Delhi’s gossip circuit is rife with guesses—half of the present Cabinet, bureaucrats in Narasimha Rao’s PMO, freedom fighters who took part in the anti-British but pro-American movement; even Jinnah, although he was not in Rao’s Cabinet.

‘‘Jaswant Singh himself does not seem to know where The Mole is. Out of India and not in service could mean Lebanon, outer space, anything.’’

‘‘You’re jealous,’’ countered Mukul. ‘‘Just because he’s on telly and he’s got such a deep voice, you don’t like him. It’s bad manners and reflects on your upbringing.’’

Ever since Mukul landed his hep TV job, he had lost his sense of balance. Moles, politicians turned writers, Rakhi Sawant, cricket…they all got him equally jumpy.

‘‘Why did you buy Jaswant’s book?’’ Mukul asked.

‘‘It’s called peer pressure. And all I found there is hot air gone stale,’’ I told him.

‘‘What did you expect? That he would name The Mole?’’ Mukul asked.

‘‘Well, if he can tell the PM, he can tell us too. What’s the big deal?’’

‘‘The big deal is between the lines. Intrigue and mystery is sexy. If I get this one interview, our ratings will soar,’’ Mukul said dreamily.

‘‘Rubbish. Nobody’s going to watch unless The Mole looks like Rakhi Sawant. With peanuts for a salary, the babu got his kicks out of sharing some piddly sarkari file notings with Uncle Sam. Maybe his kid’s US visa became simpler.’’ I’d heard that this is an old hook the yanks use.

Mukul didn’t like the way I was killing his story. ‘‘This was no ordinary mole. He had Narasimha Rao’s ear, he leaked nuke secrets to the US. It’s big time, you know. Singh says the US had complete knowledge on India’s nuclear bomb.’’

‘‘Yes, but they have incomplete knowledge on Hizbollah, and on where Osama is. Maybe they could make that knowledge complete and use our bomb to nuke him.’’

Fed up with me, Mukul left to interview the alleged Mole and came back with a strange and confused look.

‘‘Did you get your hot story?’’ I asked, hoping he would cheer up.

‘‘I’m not so sure. All he did was bitch a lot about bureaucrats who would get fat hikes from the Sixth Pay Commission. But I got the feeling that he was really enjoying all the unexpected attention and ambiguity.’’

‘‘Why not? It’s fun being Jaswant’s mole. Because, this mole won’t get killed or disappear. He’ll get to give interviews to pretty anchors, and some not so pretty ones like you,’’ I said, and switched channels.