NEW DELHI, MARCH 8: What lipstick would the perfect bahu, say in Sooraj Barjatya's Hum Saath Saath Hain, wear at night, if she had a medium-dark complexion, and had dark brown eyes? Clearly, berry, burgundy, or chocolate. The best, of course, would be Maybelline's Brazen Berry. Non-transfer, definitely, for the millennium's smart bahu.Worried about first night blues? Don't be. Chances are, especially if you're going in for an arranged marriage, you're not too comfortable making love. But, more likely than not, he's tense too. In any case, it's likely you've both had a long day and you only get together late into the night, when you're both tired.There is all this, and a lot more, in India's self-professed `first portal for the complete woman'. Brought to Indian womanhood as a special tribute on Women's Day, from the House of Dabur's youngest and most-happening scion, Amit Burman, smartbahu.com has solutions for every problem today's bahu can possibly dream of. And if it doesn't have a ready answer, there's nothing that the `old fashioned and traditional' achar-making tiny and petite Achala Aunty or the tall, buxom, and cheery Aunt Agatha can't help you with. Aunt Agatha, to give you some indication of her personality and the kind of help she could render, lives alone with three Labradors and a canary which learnt expletives from a mariner husband, now long dead. Ooh, sailors!Of course, you don't need special advice from Aunt Agatha to tell you that the best way to set the mood is to use scented candles - available at local stores, dimmed lights and candles are a cheap and effective way of setting the mood. Two unscented candles in the centre of the dining table, and two scented ones in the living room in tall candle stands, and you'll discover that aromatherapy really does work, advises smartbahu.com.Sharing a bottle of wine is a good move - you can get good Indian white wines at Rs 200 a bottle - to slip into bed in a comfortable, but for God's sake not drunken, haze.There are other tips, on getting to know each other's world. Spend ten minutes daily with the sports section and do comment on the latest sports event at least once a week - a sure shot with all men. For god's sake, listen to your man and ask him about his day, instead of bubbling in with all your news first. Try to read some of his favourite authors if you are the intellectual sort, and a lot more.Oh yes, all this works, but there's an essential ingredient without which life's a no go: Look good and feel good. Vandana Luthra of Curls and Curves is the woman of the fortnight!Of course, life is not just sex and games, though any smart bahu would be well advised, to check out her (and her mate's) `romance temperature' and `love instinct' through a well-structured and, probably well-researched, set of questions. Vaastu will help you place the bed in the room for best results.Essentially, an online version and combination of Eve's Weekly, Femina, Women's Era, Sananda, Grihalakshmi, Cosmopolitan and Elle, smartbahu.com's USP is that it offers a lot more of everything. To ensure that the site doesn't offend the feminist sorts, there's stuff on how you can have careers@home courtesy Oriflame and Tupperware. The health section has more on allergies and menopause than heart attacks, possibly since `women outlive men by at least 15 years'. So `plan for your retirement'. And, as a concession to liberal thought, the site offers advise on how to find the perfect `mate', and not necessarily `man' - for those of us, it says, who are not necessarily looking for a member of the opposite sex.And yes, since an integral part of being a smart bahu is handling your mother in law, smartbahu.com's got a lot of advice on this - this week's bedtime story tells you how the newly-married Amita wins over her mother-in-law. Say goodbye to Tu Tu Main Main!
