An old beetle146;s number

Along with the monsoon8217;s last squalls, come a species of beetle to regale and educate us. There is one lying on the floor now: large an...

Along with the monsoon8217;s last squalls, come a species of beetle to regale and educate us. There is one lying on the floor now: large and purple, and equipped with a formidable pair of jaws, yet perfectly harmless and well-behaved barring a tendency to keel over on to its backside at the slightest excuse. It is thus usually encountered in its present position 8212; flat on its back, waving its legs about, buzzing loudly and irritably as though the whole thing is our fault.

Presently, however, the limbs cease to twitch and the buzzing stops; the creature lies there, as unmoving as a municipal file. And then, without warning, it vaults an incredible six inches into the air and lands with an enormous crash, but right-side up! For a moment it is still; perhaps it is waiting for the applause? Receiving none, it then flexes a limb or three, works its mandibles to ensure its dentures are still in place, and then proceeds to crawl across the floor.

Reaching a leg of the dining table, it examines the wood with all the suspicion of the CVC scrutinising a defence ministry file. Satisfied at last, it crawls up to the table top, pauses to survey the lay of the land and then sets off at a brisk pace across the laminated plain, humming what sounds like a Beatles8217; oldie to itself. It reaches the far end, shoots over the edge at about twenty kilometres an hour and lands on the floor with an almighty thwack 8212; naturally, on its backside again.

It lies there, muttering imprecations and buzzwords like some demented management consultant. At last, moved by pity, we extend a toe to flip it over8230;but pause at an extraordinary thought. Are we committing the grave sin of anthropomorphism? Could it not be that what we 8212; in arrogance born of ignorance 8212; consider as 8216;upside-down8217; is in fact 8216;right way up8217; for the beetle? That Nature has endowed this creature with a high centre of gravity, and that it therefore spends a lifetime struggling against this cruel force that constantly threatens to roll it over on to its feet? Indeed, this would explain why, each time it is rolled over, the beetle loses no time in getting back on to its backside again! And what better way to do this than launch itself at a high velocity from a height8230;

A frenzied buzzing draws our attention to the floor. Alas, the poor thing has tumbled over on to its feet again! We watch as it resolutely gathers itself and makes a beeline beetle-line? for the dining-table: once more to hurl itself over the precipice, and thence attain, if only briefly, the bliss that comes with a different point of view.

Just as we all do.